Nicker-Never feel bad for your tears...Is it possible if you can't sell your place that you could rent it out? Just a thought. I still have those teary days and then i ask God to help me be strong and stop those tears. It works for me. Hugs to you, Chris

Yes, I agree that it is probably the kids leaving and you are alone again. I too find when I am around people that you can function almost normal..........
I believe we are going to have these days but hopefully they will lessen over time, if we allow ourselves this time to be mad or sad and then try again the next day.........hugs

Big HUGS, I am having them too. Rhonda

I am having them also.
They cute my hrs at work don't know how I am going to pay my bills. All I do is cry. Signed up for widow benefits the other day so if I can make it until July I'll be fine. I am alone almost all the time. My daughter workd midnights and sleeps until she has to go to work. I have no one else so maybe that is why I cry alot.


Hugs to you.

Nicker - don't be mad at yourself! It took me over 3 years just to come to the conclusion to put my business up for sale, this after talking it out with myself for the previous 3 years. When you're ready, you'll know. Getting mad at yourself isn't going to make the decision any quicker. But I think you know that in your heart. It will come in its own good time - hugs to you, Marsha

Having the kids around sure does lift our spirits, doesn't it?

I hope you will adjust to being on your own again. You've done it before, and adjusted, so, I am sure you will again. It's just that it seems so very quiet and lonely now. It will improve !!

I know what you mean about having to sell. I am planning on selling my home also... just pray I will be strong enough to do it.... and all the prep work.
Please don't be hard on yourself, Nicker.... you are on the most difficult journey and you are strong!!!

Hugs, Linda

Oh, I f eel your sadness and hurt. It seems like every time we turn around, there's yet another change we have to make, another adjustment we have to make, more mental, physical and emotional work to do. When does the merry-go-round stop? We didn't ask to be in the position we're in. We've already lost the most important part of our life when our loved one left; why does it seem like just when we seem about to get on an even keel, we must part with yet another piece of our life? And I don't have the answers...big sigh....just questions and the belief that my Creator is leading me towards what is good and perfect for me, even tho I'm kicking and screaming a lot of the time! Just know that you are always in our hearts and prayers and we're with you as much as we can be. Wishing you strength and peace always. Sharon

Don't be mad at yourself. I guessing that on any day if you could see all of us at once you would see many teary moments. It's all part of it. Be gentle with yourself. Remember to breathe. There is no timeline for when you will be "ok".
Don't try to stop the tears. I believe that there are just so many tears that have to be shed. Stopping them, holding them in only serves to delay our grief and pain. Let them flow and allow yourself to feel what you feel.
Hugs,
Vicki

No reason AT ALL to be mad at yourself nicker! But being MAD in general/ I've done that m,any times, and sometimes/ It even helps a little! sometimes that being mad gives us just a little puch into what we really want and waht we really NEED to do.

Tears? Hon, I SYIOLL CRY almost everyday. Not for hours, sometimes just for minutes, and sometimes will go days without. But i know now that those tears will come, i will cry them, and I will get up the next day and start all over again, at least until the next time hits, and it always does. and you know what/ now when the crying does happen/ knowing that it will pass, it is a release of all that tension from constantly thinking of what to do how to do and when to do! To me now the tears are ' almost' a good thig because I feel better after I have cried! and you have so much going opn at one time,and coming off a great visit, and big let down after. Of course your emotions are all over the place!

I hope the move comes for you when you need it to my friend, and hope that you will have the peace you DESERVE in your heart, and in your life. HOPING for you with fingers crossed. Diane

I know I cry off and on, I have tears that well up and spill over, but I think it's just a part of my life. Before Stan died, I was one that would tear up at a Hallmark commercials so you can imagine what I do now!

I do have my family here and am around my grand kids a lot. It is immensely healing and gives me abundant reasons for making my way in this new life.

I hope it will all work for you to be near your kids and find the perfect job and find the one person that will buy your home---

Hugs to you and be kind to yourself. You are doing good work, Sal

Dear Nicky - Nice to hear from you, even if it is just for venting - so OK.
I am so blessed to be so close to my kids, and I am sure to you it feels like you are the only one on the mountain (with the avalanches, you might be at times). It must be so frustrating to have all of your $ tied up, and not be able to get it out of your place.
There is a reality that says (?) they will rent your place for up to 3yrs
if they can`t sell it, don`t know the name though - Google it I guess.
I am sorry that you are mad, crying, and all that goes with it. I have had a moment or two today, my nephews memorial is next Sun. and I have been `invited`. From the same in-laws that were no-shows at Les` funeral, and cut all ties with me and the boys - then they were dying, and had to find out from the paper. I didn`t realize how mad I still was, mainly for the boys - they used to be so close (their uncle died recently also). NOT GOING -
Kids all went off to their in-laws today for the Easter weekend, did not bother to call and say they got there OK, or to say g-night to Claire who won`t go to bed without a good night call. So I am in the mad and sad club today also. Sounds like a club someone here should start - maybe Sal would volunteer, if we ask nice. God bless, and Jesus loves you. Have a blessed Easter... G-

So much to deal with all at once. There is an expression, "how do you eat an elephant???? One bite at a time" We are so used to having our husbands to help us tackle problems. I find that if I focus on one thing at a time, it helps - also making lists of what's swirling around in my head.

I recently refinanced my house with a government sanctioned HARP loan. It was under $500 to refinance, very little paperwork, and I'm saving almost $300 a month which is a help.

As far as the crying, I don't have an answer for that - tears just pour out - no control.

Feel better honey.

Best regards
Vicki