Yes, I know what you mean, I don't like it when someone says that either because although I know in time, I will adjust, I also know that I will never heal from losing him. My husband was my soulmate and also the center of my life, next to God anyway, we liked the same things, thought the same way, etc. No one knew me or cared about me as he did. It was just him and I and our 3 cats, we didn't have any kids although he had a son by another marriage. We lived in our own little world, now my world is so lonely without him in it. I just take it one day at a time, it is difficult to think of a future without him, things we used to do, places we used to go just aren't the same anymore without him to share them with.

Dear friend
I truly understand.....my hubby and I were together for 45 years (I met him when I was 16) and after only three month battle with cancer he is gone.
I have grown up children and grandchildren but only those who have walked in the same shoes understands.
K xx

People who respond in certain ways have no idea what loosing someone feels like. Be weak, be as weak as you need to be, cry, scream and tell people stories of who he was. Grief is your body experiencing love in a different way and when you love someone that much you are going to grieve hard and it is going to suck and remember you are lucky to have had someone that has made you love so deeply that you hurt so bad.

I lost my dear sweet husband on Nov. 10, just a few weeks ago now. It just does not seem real yet. We were married 42 years and were best of friends. We did everything together. After raising 2 sons we were joined at the hip. He had PD for 10 yrs but it was actually cancer that got him in the end. There was only 27 days btwn dx and his passing....way too quick. We thought we had more time but, alas, that was not to be. I am not sleeping well and struggling with tears every morning. And sometimes at the oddest moment during the day. So much ppwk to get through, phone calls to be made, loose ends to be tied. In a way I dread when the flurry of activity ends...where will that leave me but lonely and alone.

No one want me to talk about him especially his grown children. .it's like a Tabu subject .One daughter about 3 months after his death asked me to not talk about him. I have always been this way ..everyone is different. Your grief is different You are not them Grieve your way in your time. Breathing helps me to center..You'll be alright. Be free to open up..

Hi, I total understand how you feel, everyone thinks I should be ok now, but Iam far from ok. I spend most of my time alone, which my sister say it's not good for me, but I just do not want anything but my Jim, the love of my life.

I am so sorry for your loss. I think people say those trite platitudes because they don't know what else to say and also because many people are uncomfortable with emotional displays. My husband was sick for many months before he died and I learned that most people who asked me how he was did NOT want to hear anything other than he was doing well............which he was not. If I said he was not doing well, people would, more often than not, act very uncomfortable like I had said something vulgar. I often wondered why people would stop me on the street to ask me how he was if they didn't really want to know! The other day someone pointed out that now I can do whatever I want without worrying about being home at a certain time to cook supper, etc.............like that was a wonderful thing that I should be envied for or something. Big whoop! Overall, I try to be charitable to most people because I believe most people mean well, even if they say the wrong thing. However, I only open up to a very, very few people in real life, and on this board, of course. As for everyone else with their unhelpful comments, I usually just nod and let whatever they have to say roll right off my back. It's an approach that works for me.

Sylvia

Thanks so much everyone for taking the time to respond to my post. I really do appreciate every single one of them. Reading them when I'm feeling low helps me so much during this really difficult and painful time. Much love xx