Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
We had a party for Rob. It was to be a celebration. Joyous. But it didn't happen like that.
I'm processing the night I'm not ok. I am fucking angry. There was a guy who wanted a funeral. a best friend of rob. The day after rob died he started asking about a funeral. He wanted to do a little slide show. I said he just fing died! He has been bullying me into it for 7 months. It was really important to him so I said yes. I regret that so much. He did a 20 minute slideshow set to sad music. And that was after I said no sad. It was gonna be worse. So after a lovely evening of joy and laughter he put on this thing and made everyone watch. He stood there and brow beat me into watching. Cause he did it for me you see. Oh f the guilt. I kept leaving to cry. And he brow beat me into retutning. Then he forced a copy of it on me. It ended the night. Left everyone bawling. Make my daughter cry and leave. Turned it into a sorrow filled fing funeral! Rob would be so pissed. And cause everyone broke we called the night early and didn't watch the movie we were going to. He wrecked the night. He took what I needed away from me. I got no moment of Rob joy. I got hosting a party and coping with a funeral that no one wanted. I wanna punch the Jerk. He told me that he would make me cry and didn't care. I don't need to cry at photos. They may be a big deal to him but I have every single photo. It was my life I'm trying to recover from. How dare he!?
I'm processing the night I'm not ok. I am fucking angry. There was a guy who wanted a funeral. a best friend of rob. The day after rob died he started asking about a funeral. He wanted to do a little slide show. I said he just fing died! He has been bullying me into it for 7 months. It was really important to him so I said yes. I regret that so much. He did a 20 minute slideshow set to sad music. And that was after I said no sad. It was gonna be worse. So after a lovely evening of joy and laughter he put on this thing and made everyone watch. He stood there and brow beat me into watching. Cause he did it for me you see. Oh f the guilt. I kept leaving to cry. And he brow beat me into retutning. Then he forced a copy of it on me. It ended the night. Left everyone bawling. Make my daughter cry and leave. Turned it into a sorrow filled fing funeral! Rob would be so pissed. And cause everyone broke we called the night early and didn't watch the movie we were going to. He wrecked the night. He took what I needed away from me. I got no moment of Rob joy. I got hosting a party and coping with a funeral that no one wanted. I wanna punch the Jerk. He told me that he would make me cry and didn't care. I don't need to cry at photos. They may be a big deal to him but I have every single photo. It was my life I'm trying to recover from. How dare he!?
Not to scare you but watch your back. I have known Vietnam
vets with combat experience with PSTD long before it was
identified and at times they are a little off the rails.
Unfortunately, there are some vets these days that use PTSD
as an excuse for bad behavior.
Whatever is causing him to behave this way, tread very
carefully for your own sake and safety. Something is wrong
with this picture. Clearly, you are going to have to carefully
wean him from any dependency on you ( if that is what it
is ) and slowly move away from him.
Blessings and in my prayers
Darrell