Oh! My! I can totally relate. I thought I was doing just fine and then suddenly it doesn't matter what ANYONE does, says or otherwise; I am now generally pissed-off!

Don't look at me cross-eyed, don't say anything to me and then, "why is everyone just ignoring me!" My feelings and general well being is on such a roller coaster ride. I have to remind myself to just "hang-on!"

If someone takes whatever I say too seriously, or personally, I just can't be responsible.......I've been taken over by the "grief aliens' and until they throw the switch that controls Roz and her thought processes, this is going to be a very bumpy ride.

I'm generally a very "up" person but since Morey passed away I have found a new "low" that I don't recognize.

If you love me, let me be! If I bug you set me free!!!!

I am probably behaving the same way, but am not sufficiently self-aware to notice. So you're ahead of me.

Yes. I was always the one who made allowances while everyone else complained. Not anymore. Celexa deadens that, but it also kills my imagination and dulls any color in my life. Can't stand being like that either. So I grit my teeth or I avoid people. Hope this settles out eventually.

What is it with the 14 mo mark? I'm feeling the same!! Grrr . . .

We're all in this together and as Roz says "hang on"!!

Round of hugs, D

Almost 11 months for me, and I understand what you're feeling.
I think I'm doing okay for a few days or a week, then I feel like I'm sliding backwards.
And, yes, a lot of things irritate me.
So many times during the day I wish I could talk to my husband. I need his advice, but I know that's not possible.

Hugs,
Janie

Its been nearly 13 weeks for me, and I am the same way. I have always been kind of a crass, sarcastic type of person...sometimes short with people...I find that is happening a lot more since Tom passed...he was always the one to tell me to calm down when i was pissed at something...or someone...now he's not here to tell me, and I let my emotions run my life...

I am only 4.5 months in, but I am having the opposite happen. I am usually very opinionate and not afraid to share it.....outspoken about my beliefs....now, I have become so docile like I just don't care. I wish I could get up a good steam of anger.

Jen

Jen, how interesting........I could use some of your docileness.

Strange, so strange how the attitude and feelings ebb and flow!

Don't be too surprised if it all changes on you! And, the best part, without warning!

Schizophrenia = 1 part grief and 1 part panic. We've all been there and we've all felt it!

Roz

I found that I had extreme anger at the beginning, especially at my late husband - I believed if he had taken better care of himself, he would still be with us. It ebbed and flowed, sometimes coming out in bursts, sometimes in a slow simmer... The grief, the tears came out in the same way.
With my recent health scare, I found it was rising and falling yet again, as fear of leaving my children behind took hold. Lots of tears this past week, as my anger rose again with my feelings of helplessness about my situation.
Never mind the stages; I've found its more like tides. Sometimes big, sometimes low...

Yesterday was 3 years since my husband died suddenly during the night of a heart attack & I am still having those exact same feelings. I was doing pretty good up until a few weeks ago. I guess the anniversary of his death has just brought out all these feelings again. I would like to think at some point it will get better. But you are definitely not alone.

Heading into 10 months for me and am all of a sudden feeling the exact same way. I think it's just part of the roller coaster ride we are on. Yes I too feel like everyone is ignoring me now. Friends have backed away because they think I am fine. Well I'm not! I'm not sure I will ever be fine again. I will get through this, but certainly not intact and certainly not happy about it.

Roz, I am not sure you want to be where I am....I have no fight left in me......I feel like I have given up hope of ever feeling joy again. I just exist thru the day until I can go to bed at 8...that is my daily target, just make it until 8.

Today is very bad......

soalone2to1..........I so relate to how you feel. 12months for me & it is a roller coaster ride. After a year, people seem to think you are okay, but you are far from it. That's why coming to this site really helps, to express how one feels. It's just when you lost the most important person in your life, and you were together 38yrs, he is still there in anything you do/see/think.