Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
someone please help me . I m dying within everyday . Nothing helps , so helpless and miserable . I don't sleep at all , have to taking pills . I miss my husband , really no one in this whole world can understand this pain . So much in despair and can't find him . I write to him , try to get up but boom it all comes in front again . I saw him going in front of me helpless , I feel guilty too that I couldn't do enough for him but try to convince myself that death is destined . Feel so unlucky and life is so unfair . What do I do ?
Carla - I will try that today. Will talk to doctor too. Can you tell me the support groups you went to .
Thanks so much for the inspiring words , I was feeling like a lump of shit , worthless . My husband loved me tons . He made the ring so right for my finger saying that's never coming out :( He used tell me I love you to the moon of Pluto and back . I miss his talks , touch , smell , romance everything so so much . I will try my best to get rid of the suicidal thoughts but it keeps hitting back . He was everything I had .
I am still grieving, still have parts of every day when I feel as if I can't go on. I am functioning a little better... but there is no "getting over" this grief. My only choice is to learn to live with it. Getting some rest will make it easier for you to do that.
Blessings, Peace, Healing and Hope for you today and for all that are hurting today... Mark
Im so sorry for the passing of your dear husband. My heart feels for you, it's so devastating to start this journey. I, and most all of us here, know your feelings of desperation. Take it moment by moment Munmun....that's all you can do.
You are here reaching out, asking for help, that's the start!....
Everyone here, has given wonderful suggestions, the encouragement, love and support here, is priceless.
The Grief group is a good start to, share your grief. Face to face with others.
Please take care of yourself.....it's vital that you eat a little, drink water, and get some rest. Guard your thoughts, you are here in this world, for a purpose.
Imagine us all praying, caring, and supporting you, as you get a grip on this journey.
munmun, truly, your broken heart can heal, albeit, still Scarred......but you will go on
We are doing that everyday. Remember, to come here often, we care so much for you.
Hugs and love......Sandra.
On August 18th 2015 at 5 am I left for work. The night before my wife and I ate supper together. She was fine no problems. Next morning when I left she was fine no problems. Because it was rainy that morning I started to come back home but talked myself out of it because I was only working a few hours anyway. Started to call her once I got to work like I always did but told myself no you'll wake her up and you will be home soon anyway. I worked my shift left for home and stopped at McDonald's along the way for something to eat while coming home. Got home around 10:20 am, I have over an hour commute to work, unlocked the door and the dogs came running up to me as usual, but I did not hear my wife call out so I figured she was sleeping in like she did sometimes. I went into the bedroom and she was laying with one of her arms on the side table and I thought she had been moving around because she was a restless sleeper. I turned her over while calling her name and no response. When I saw her face there was no guessing at that point, she was gone. Standing there in shock I could not believe what I was seeing in our bed. My wife was gone. She had passed in her sleep with no warning at all. No indication anything was wrong. For a long time I beat myself up over not following thru with those things I had talked myself out of that morning. After being drilled by the local cops and state trooper about her possibly committing suicide or even I may have had something to do with it, I was suspect with it being sudden death, all the while I was falling apart emotionally and no one cared. Over the next several days I wrote my will over and over about a dozen times. I composed a suicide note several times. We do have a daughter but she isn't at home but lives her own life away. No family around me at all. Completely alone for weeks with the exception of her funeral and a couple of folks who happened to drop by and never again. Sitting there trying to figure out how to do this so my daughter could still collect the insurance policy on me. I talked to my Father in Heaven. I gave everything to Him and still do today. The first year was hard. All the firsts. Got thru them. This second year is different. In place of it being the firsts it is the year of this is real. It is permanent. My wife isn't coming back. She is with the Lord. And one day I will be there also. We all will. And so all this to tell you that the grief does get better. It gets dull. Still hurts and you will always miss him, but it will get better. The main thing do not allow anyone to tell you, you really need to try and get over it. That's ridiculous, you will not get over it, but you will learn how to live with what has happened. Run don't walk to your God. He will carry you when you can't walk and will walk with you when you can. As far as suicide, it isn't a good plan. We are on God's time schedule just the way our spouses were. And He will call for us when it's our time. Until then we have work to do and He will show you what that work is. For me I try to use this experience to help others who go thru it. You had said you weren't sure what to do. Look for ways to volunteer to help others. The hospital will gladly take anyone willing to help out. Your local soup kitchen or church food pantry. One of the strongest motivators for me was knowing that my wife would want me to keep moving forward and live this life the way God intended me to. We had this conversation before and we both had said we wanted the other to keep going no matter what. I am certain your husband would want you to live the life you were given. To find any happiness you can when you can. It will take time but you will get there. We all did and so will you. Someone said take it one second at a time. That's exactly right. Take it as slow as you need to. But just know that in your time frame it will get better and you will find that way God has for you to get thru this. This is the worst pain I have ever had in my life. So bad I can not think of a single enemy I've ever had I would wish this on. The only way to heal and get better is thru your God. Stay in prayer and believe. Reach out to those who have experienced this they know.
Please take care of yourself.
Peace, Tim