YES. also when i do finally sleep im exhausted when i get up like it was not a restful night of sleep. i just started doing my nightly yoga classes again and it seems to help.

My sleep was screwed up for a long time. The first few months my sleep pattern was more like when my boys were babies -- sleep couple of hours, wake up, try to get back to sleep, anxious, cry, whatever, then back to sleep for a couple more hours but not restful. When I would finally get back up to go to work, I honestly don't know how I functioned. I felt like a zombie!

I had to try various things to get any decent sleep. It helps to do some basic things, or at least I found these helpful:

1. Add calcium and vitamin B-complex to your diet. Take them at lunch, not at night. They are both necessary for your brain to deal with stress.
2. Get a few minutes of exercise during the day, even a 10-minute walk around the block helps. I used to walk on my coffee breaks, which had the added benefit of keeping me from getting too stressed out at work. I can't comment on yoga, but other exercises can rev up your metabolism, so best to avoid most exercise for a couple of hours before bed.
3. Have a low stress, technology-free bedtime routine. Allow yourself an hour of something calming like reading or meditation/prayer. Stay away from computer games and avoid any reading material that winds you up. Sometimes, I read, sometimes I journaled, sometimes I prayed. I also "talked" to Cliff every night - I would say anything I needed to get off my chest or express. Somehow just getting it out into the air helped. I do believe they can hear us sometimes, too, but that's just me.
4. You can try the over-the-counter stuff like Nytol, Tylenol PM, etc., or take a Benedryl - the ingredient that makes you sleepy is the same ingredient in Benedryl - diphenhydramine. I used to take the kid's dose which is half strength, and I bought the generic version which is a lot less expensive.
5. A cup of chamomile tea an hour before bed can help relax you to get to sleep and sleep more soundly. You can find it in the herbal tea section of the supermarket, Celestial Seasonings brand had one called Sleepy Tyme I think. It helps and no groggy after-effects the next morning like some pills. Avoid it, though, if you know you are allergic to chrysanthemums as the two plants are related.
6. Some people swear by melatonin pills. I never used them but had friends who did.
7. I had a hard time sleeping in a big empty bed. My sister gave me a "body pillow" - it's a very long bolster pillow. I put it on Cliff's side of the bed so that when I rolled over in the night, it felt like he was there, and that helped.
8. I slept wrapped up in Cliff's old bathrobe, too. Whatever gets you through the night as they say...

I hope some of these suggestions help. The aftermath of loss is so overwhelming, and you really need your rest and strength.

Love and Hugs,
Martha

I had the same problem and it started while being the sole caregiver for my wife, working full time and pastoring. I was getting 3 to 5 hours of sleep. When she died and continuing about 8 months, I couldn't sleep more than about 3 hours a night. At Christmas this past year, I fell asleep at the wheel and woke up while plowing through the snow in the interstate medium at 70 mph. I was able to steer back up onto the traffic lane without incident or accident. When I mentioned it to my doctor, he added a 2nd anti-depressant used as a sleep aid to the one I was already taking, and doubled the dose of the existing med. That was in January. I still take both medications and my sleep patterns have greatly improved, as have my cognitive abilities. Logically, we have to assume that our brain can't function properly if we have prolonged periods of minimal sleep and disruption of REM. Anyway, I'm doing good now and hope to slowly ween myself off the meds once my life settles back into a semi-normal routine without drama. Take good care of yourself and everything will fall into place eventually in time. ~~~ Scottie

Hi my husband died about a year and 9 mos ago.. Sleep was def a problem for me.. Through time I found daily exercise and I diffuse oils at night it seems to help over mood balance ...

I treat myself to a warm lavender Epsom salts bath, almost every night, wrap myself in a fluffy bathrobe, have a big mug of chamomile tea.....listen to soft music and that works for me. My husband passed 26 months ago, I have
the occasional fitful night, but I keep my nightly routine very calm in order to get a good nights sleep. If you are getting a little anxious around bedtime, Hylands homeopathic Calmes forte is excellent to relax. It is a natural sleep aid.
All of these suggestions help, plus you deserve a little pampering right now...
Hugs and have a goodnight, God Bless......Sandra

Yah, I don't sleep anymore. It is actually 3 a.m. as I write this. I doze for an hour here and there for weeks at a time, then I sleep for 15 hours straight. And the cycle repeats.

It's been 7 months since my husband died. I had to take a sleeping pill every night for the first 5 months. There's a brand of sleeping pill called Major sleeping tabs that are milder than most and don't leave you tired in the morning.

Hi Carin. I lost my husband 2 years and 4 months ago. We were married 21 years. I couldn't sleep for more than a couple of hours after he passed away, and it was really taking a toll on me. Even if I took Benadryl, it would help me fall asleep for about 4 hours, then I would be up in the middle of the night pacing and anxious. A few months after losing my husband, after the initial support was gone, reality really started hitting me, along with anxiety. I wound up seeing my doctor and getting on anti-anxiety medication. It took a few weeks to start to work, but my nerves began to settle down and I was able to sleep and function better. I'm into alot of natural and alternative things, so getting on medication wasn't an easy decision for me, but I needed to do something so I could function while dealing with my intense grief. After 9 months, I was doing better and slowly weaned off the Lexapro.
Losing a spouse is an enourmous shock. You just have to hang on until it starts to get a little easier to function. Little by little you start to cope better and rebuild your life. I miss my husband every day, still grieve his loss, and am lonely and lost without him....but I have started to creat a new life with a new job and friends. It is a long slow process, with a lot of bumps along the way, but it will get more manageable as time goes on. I'm glad you found Daily Strength. There is really good support here with people who truly understand.
Best regards, Lori