Gail,
It's good to hear you are getting your feeling out!!!!!Life goes on.....
-around us. .....it took me a little while to make an effort to join it,
Have as good a day as you can....Hugs...Sandra

Thanks Sandra. I just can't believe how angry I am at the moment. I just find that I have no tolerance for anyone. I thought I would feel better able to cope by now but everything just seems to set me off. I just wish I could hide in a little hole and let the world go on around me.

I hear you Gail....this shit has to blow out of us one way or another...now for the record...I like to get my nails done so if you disturb the dickhead that does them I will turn you into a smurf with my new found skill and left over paint...tho I really love you!! Sending you a hug with a splash of blue

Gail . . I totally understand your full blown ANGER. It's okay. Get it out girlfriend!! Find something you can beat up (not someone, something) I beat the shit out of one of my park benches here with a baseball bat. It felt so good!! As others have mentioned before, get some cheap glasses or dishes and throw them!! Whatever you do, don't hold your anger in as it will turn into depression.

I'll join you with a glass of wine later. Hugs, D

Oh boy do I remember feeling that way. The anger was huge.
It will be 2 years for me next month and I don't get that way any more. actually I have found that I am more tolerant than ever.
Hang in there, Hugs, Sandi

I too experience anger. More so at first, but at 16 months, I still am more prone to anger than before. I don't throw dishes however because having to pick up the pieces would only make me more angry! LOL I would go out in my back yard and throw rocks. Not at the neighbors....just in my yard. Hugs to you. Hope the wine helps a bit. It usually does for me. Darlene

Gail, all I can say is I know how you feel...

I guess it's okay for you to get angry and throw temper tantrums if it makes you feel better.
Myself, I must be from another planet or something, maybe it's because I'm a male, or maybe I've just went the other way and just mellowed after this widowhood thing was dropped on me.
I think we all have built in pressure relief valves and anger is what results from reaching a point of pressure that we cann't contain. So blow up if you want to. I've gone the other way and after this widowhood thing hit me I don't let anything concerning this worth getting mad about. When people offend me regarding being a widower, I just think to myself " I wonder how stupid you're going to feel when it happens to you".
So whatever calms your nerves, do it.

Best Regards, George

A girlfriend sent me something called a Dammit Doll. It is a cotton doll that you can bash things with when you feel really angry.
Truthfully, I haven't felt the need for it, so it is still in its plastic covering. Maybe up the road in my grief progression, I will get angry.
I think my M.O. is to just get really quiet if I am upset.
If anyone here feels a need to have something to bash with, let me know and I will send this Dammit Doll to you. Really!
I'm so sorry for your huge loss, Gail, and that your life was basically wiped out. Glad you had a few glasses of wine, and you have a place where you can express your true feelings, because we do understand. I so appreciate this site. Hugs.

Gail, vent, vent, vent. Release that pent up energy. Just don't hurt yourself. It would be like me to throw something only to have it bounce back and hurt "me". lol Just know that we all care here. Hugs, Michele

Gail, totally understand. I have heard so many "stupid" comments over the last 16 months. The craziest was someone told me they understood because their husband went to meetings some nights and they knew what it was like to be alone. What the heck.....
My anger seemed to be when my husband was diagnosed with stage iv cancer. Must have been my way to cope for nine months while I watched the love of my life die from such a horrible disease. Could not wrap my mind around how such a healthy person could be so sick so fast. He was out hiking 13 miles and at the gym that week. Once he took he last breath, the anger was gone - then sadness set in, and now I just decide to come from a place of kindness. How can anyone understand this grief unless they have been through losing the most precious person in your life, the one who understands everything about you. BrokenGeo I relate to the feeling of being mellow... much peace to you Gail...

I haven't felt anger like that. Just get aggravated with stupid people. They don't know any better, they haven't been where we are. But they will be someday.
Rachel

Yep I get the same way. Makes me so mad when people I talk with or couples in my family bitch about someone leaving the dish out on the table or how much money they don't have or the fact that someone forgot to switch the load of laundry!!! I think REALLY, what would happen if you woke up one day and it was all GONE!! All that trivial stuff means nothing!!! its all blown out of proportion. It hurts so much seeing couples walking down the street together because I should be doing that!!! I wish I would have taken the time to see more of the important things and not so much of the every day meaningless "problems" Hang in there

Gail, it is good to get it out.............I'm with you on that, and I agree that enough is enough of the people in our lives who continue to dump their problems on us, not caring at all about our struggles and our problems and our deep suffering; as you said, they don't know how lucky they are to still have their spouses........................... Do we need to appoint ourselves counselors for them?
My heart goes out to you and all the folks going through this.

I'm relieved I am not the only one here that uses the word "dickhead". I always find the use of certain words makes me feel better. In the meantime, go get your nails done. That is not a bad thing.

Maggie