I'm sorry Pete that you're sick and also feeling so alone. I guess this is another one of those milestones that we have to go through on this journey.
I'm not going to offer any solutions as there really are none. You just have to ride it out. Being sick always make the outlook look worse.
But as usual...you will get through this wave too.
Amy is still with you so just get some rest and recoupe.
And of course....you always have all of us to keep you company!
Feel better friend!
Darcie

Pete...the only thing that could make it any worse is if you are sick during the best riding weather you'll get from now-till-June...I drive over-the-road and been to Denver many times, and I know how unpredictable your weather is...I've seen 85 in January and 3-feet of snow in May. It could be worse...it could be Ohio, and the "Lake Erie Snow Machine".
But I'm not supposed to be talking about the weather on a support group. I'm with Darcie, Amy IS with you. I am about 8-1/2 months out now, and as time goes on I am getting better at recognizing the signs, and knowing that Marylou is indeed with me. It's a whole lot different than at the start of all this...when the possibility that I might never see Marylou again, for eternity, twisted me inside-out in every waking moment. But we're all adults here, and basically too old to believe in coincidence. All those "coincidences" that have happened since Marylou left this life, are only a verifier that Marylou is right here with me. Amy is right there, reaching out to you when you hurt, and she awaits the reunion. Love never dies!

Pete, my heart is heavy reading your note. I understand completely the feeling of our love not being there, especially when we are not feeling well, just someone to make us a cup of soup, cup of tea, etc. I have had to dig deep the past two years since I have no family in area. Take it all a day at a time. i always try to keep in gratitude that I had someone so wonderful in my life for 27 years of marriage. Always remember, Amy is always with you - in your heart.

Pete I hope that you feel much better . I get what you mean as the first time I got sick after Howie passed, it really hit home that I was on my own as my kids were away at school . Along with the illness came the tears and the pity party for myself and some anger towards him that he wasn't there. It was one of the firsts and I learned that I could still feel his love once I got over the worst of the grieving.

On Monday, we had the funeral for my dad who was diagnosed with a very aggressive brain tumour last Christmas eve...The parallel with my husband getting sick at that time of year was not lost (I called 911 on Christmas day and he never came back home and passed 1 month later) , I was really struggling and feeling sorry for myself that my husband should have been there with me at the funeral of my father and then I just asked him to give me strength. I don't know if there is a spirit out there that hears me but I chose to believe, I have no proof but like a placebo effect, it helps me be stronger. .

All that to say that her memory, can help you through some of the times such as the illness you just went through...xoxo

Hi Pete, So sorry that you are under the weather. I really don't have much to offer, only that getting sick is one of my major fears. Though I am not medically sick, I do suffer with depression, which makes daily living very difficult. I have no friends or family and I am caring for JH (shihtzu) who is thirteen and a half years old and receiving chemo for lymphoma. He also had a lung tumor removed on Jan. 8th that was cancerous. So, who takes care of the care giver? I don't post often, because I have been at this a long time and find it frustrating that locally there is nothing to connect widows and widowers in a social/supportive environment. Because we are still cold in Ohio, I recently made a hot and sour soup recipe that is quite good on these nasty cold days here in Ohio. So wish I could share with you, but let me know if you want the recipe. hugs, pj

Pete, I'm sorry that you were sick. I hope you're feeling better and stronger.

I know that being alone and being sick is so difficult. We've lost our partners who were our caretakers when we didn't feel well, now we're on our own. It's not much fun and it's very tough!!!

Feel well!

Roz

Hang in there Pete, I understand how that kind caring gentle touch is so terribly missed. She is with you! Hugs, Love and Peace, Michele

Pete, I'm glad you're feeling better, but sorry for what you've been dealing with the last few days. Take it easy and know you have lots friends here wishing you well. We all know that alone feeling.
Peace and strength,
Linda

I understand. Take care of yourself - you'll get through this too. Hope you're feeling better soon!

It's horrible to be sick and alone when you are used to having a loving spouse to comfort and care for you. I had a problem soon after Pat died and had to go to the ER. I had a friend drive me to the hospital but I started crying because I could not stand that Pat was not there with me. That was another realization of what it meant to be alone and it hit me really hard. I understand what you are going through.

So sorry to hear your sick. I recall the first time I wasn't feeling well after Tim passed. I don't think I had ever felt that alone. It's one of those little triggers that sneak up on you.
Stay strong and get better. I am in Colorado right now and the weather is amazing I hope that will help with your healing.
Hugs, Sandi

Pete, I can only imagine what it mustve felt like not having your Amy here to comfort you, and be that shoulder to lean on. Ive been very sick since sean passed away, also had an mri of my brain, nerve study tests, a mammogram, without my sean... and didnt even so much as have a family member to call. All my family is passed on, except for my father, who lives thousands off miles away, and I rarely hear from him. I hope your feeling better today. Much love and big hugs carla

It is the hardest thing, to feel the gaping hole of our Beloveds' absence when we are ill, hurting, etc... I am so sorry that your Amy is not there with you. and for how you miss her.
Barbara.

Pete,,,,,I am now recuperating from a minor operation. It was so sad and lonely for me as Bill was not there for me. I had to depend on everyone else to drive me to the hospital, pick me up, etc. I ached and cried for days because he was not here to spoil or comfort meAt ten months in my journey this was a set back that I am now finally getting thru,,,but what a reminder of where we are without them..Yes, it is sad and lonelysorry,,hope you get better soon too.

Hi Pete, I'm hoping by now you are feeling much better. You know, I've only been sick in the head these 9 months since Juani died. Not one cold, flu, not even a tummy ache. And I can't remember how long before her death that I was physically sick, maybe a couple of years. I would have thought that I should have been sick a whole lot because I lost at least 10 lbs (gained it back and more now), have had major sleep disruptions, couldn't think at all, fell into depression -- and yet despite all that, no physical sicknesses. Weird. So when I read your post, I remembered what a big baby I have always been when I'm sick and how Juanita took such good care of me. So just maybe I haven't been sick because subconsciously I know she's not here to take care of me, so why bother? Or just maybe I've invented the fast food miracle diet that keeps all sickness away. Hmmm, really makes me wonder? (Now I'm singing Stairway to Heaven -- like I said, I've only been sick in the head)! Take care my friend. ~~ Scottie