Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

3,758 Members

19,465 Posts

1 Online

babochka 08/31/2017

I wonder if I am an only one who became a widow after a short marriage? We had only been married for one year. Well, it was not the first marriage for both of us. I am 53 y.o., he was 67 y.o. He died two weeks ago after a short illness. Today I picked my husband's ashes from a funeral home. It was emotionally hard, I broke down. Still cannot believe he's gone...

I looked and looked for similar situations, bereavement after a short marriage. Is it any different from long-term marriages? Is the pain the same? There is no way for me to know. I just want to compare notes.

vwidow 09/13/2017

I know babochka that it's not "normal" to talk about death often. Maybe he sensed he was going to die. In the Spring of 2016 ( he died end of Jan. 2017) he said he wanted to do something with me before his time's up! I didn't take it to heart or even ask him the obvious: "Why do you think your time will be up?" He was in a torture device at the time ( external fixator) aka a halo--around his foot and calf. ( Foot reconstruction) but as it turned out deconstruction... He also said he was in a conflict in the Marines where 16 people died around him one day. I guess he thought he should have died too. I think that's where the "I should have died a long time ago" came from.. Thank you for your heartfelt sympathy.

Zammit 09/14/2017

Hi Bobochka,

I wasn't even married or living with my partner. Life brings on complicated situations. We were together since late 2008 and went to high school together...reconnected after 36 yrs.

What a connection!!! Instant and we carried in like highschool students in every sense of the word. Couldn't get enough of one another. Our arguments mainly carried on due to frustration that we couldn't be together the way we had wanted to.

Our relationship wasn’t easy, that’s for sure. My marriage was complicated and I have two sons who I would protect with my life. Charles understood the personal turmoil I battled with and we both knew that our turn to be together would come because, no matter what happened, he knew that he was the only man I’ve ever truly loved. We may not have lived under the same roof but our souls were connected beyond physicality. We all know that I was his life partner and the closest person to him..

Well, it was our time to be together just how we had dreamt ... but he was taken away from me and I've never been more lost in my life without him. This was a true fairytale ... he loved me and I loved him - a love I'm thankful for as unfortunately not everyone experiences this love. The love is beyond anything I can explain ... I felt alive, I felt happy ... we still felt butterflies in our tummies. OMG - what I would do to get him back

Join the Conversation