Hi, I am your age. I married my husband around 6 mos. after meeting. He was kind of pressing to marry. He was 49 and I 46 and both never married before. That was Nov. 2010, around a month and a half after my sister died @52yrs old. So we were married 6yrs 2 mos. which to me still seems short. Especially since we were not living together most of that time except on the phone everyday. He stayed with his family a state away. I don't know about you but I wish that I was like many others on here, with their husbands for 20-30-40 years! I was literally JUST beginning to understand my husband, knowing what to expect and the dynamic between us. I was adapting and loving him more. Then he was taken away.
I'm thinking the ones who had theirs longer are better able to go on alone. That they'd be stronger rooted in their husband's love. That's just my thought.

My Anne past away just a few months short of our third anniversary. However we were living together like a married couple for about 9 years before that. I don't think the length of the marriage matters. What matters is the strength of the love. The pain is the same. You lost someone you love. Whether you loved them for months or years. Matters not. (((Hug)))

To start off with, I'm so sorry what you're going through. To answer your question, my wife Tracey and I have been married for over 16 years. We were still both like kids, Wesley, tickling, holding hands and we were still like girlfriend and boyfriend. One year or 16 years, I could not imagine PAIN could be any worse than this! When my wife Tracy died in my arms in our room, I felt like I died with her. If it wasn't for our little girl, I felt I would be better off if we both left this earth at the same time. A little dramatic at know. If you were truly " in love " and you both magically become one, I believe the pain, the suffering, the loneliness would be the same for a short marriage for a long walk. Thinking about you! Dave

This is the worst pain I have ever dealt with. My husband and I were married for almost 14 years, but together for 16. He passed away 2 weeks and 1 day ago at age 75. I'm 64. I also wish I could've died with him. I just don't see any point to life anymore. I keep going over every bad thing I ever said to him. In my heart, I know that he knew I loved him with every ounce of my being. And I know he loved me. I feel like we didn't have enough quality time together, because he was so sick in the last couple of years. I don't know how to go on without him.

When my husband passed, we had been married for 18 years and together for 21 years. This pain is horrible regardless of how many years you have been together. To me,Its not about the length of time, but rather the love shared and experienced by the couple.
Death is cruel:(

Hi
It's the same ache whether the marriage is for 1 year or many
I lost my Husband in 1998 when I was 34 and had just 15 years marriage
why just 15 years is because unmarried very young at 18 .So by the time I had children , I was also growing into a woman direct to a mother . And life was full ofbactiviyies that when I Los think I was in a vacuum that I hardly had know all aspects about him.
But the children made me keep myself active and left no space to grieve .
But the ache is there .
More so now when you grow older .
So the pain is same whatever be the period of marriage .
But it left me stronger also to handle the pain and a very strong support from family .
Keep in touch

Hi. Good question. Im 27 and my husband was 27. Our 1 year anniversary is next week. He died a month and a half ago. The pain is unreal. I think that the pain is the same wether you have been married for a long/short time. Im very jealous of people who had several years with their spouses. I think our pain is different in the sense that we miss not only the person and our life together but also we miss a future we didn't get to have.

Thanks to all who replied.
TeamB, please accept my sincere condolences! I identify with you the most. You and I and those widows/widowers with short marriages, we feel like we were robbed of that future together with our spouses. My husband and I, we just started to getting to know each other...Unlike those with long marriages, we don't have "bad" memories about our late spouses and/or our marriage. In fact, we don't have many memories at all. We just started to collect them, those beautiful memories. The process was crudely aborted by death, leaving us STUNNED and HEARTBROKEN.

Babochka- I 100% agree. It does feel like being robbed. You're right there aren't bad memories. There are only good ones of a new love. I get angry at those who in all honesty knew my husband better than I did. They knew things about him that I did not. We didn't get the chance to. People keep telling me I should be feeling blessed to have had the chance to love like he and I did. I do but nothing about this feels like a blessing. I just think it wasn't enough. I could have had 40 years and it still wouldn't have been enough.

TeamB, did you ever talk to your husband about death? Probably not, right? because you were both young and didn't dream about it entering the picture...
My husband was always talking about dying/that he should have died a long time ago--so much so that I became desensitized to it and viewed him as indestructible. So then when he actually died it was a shock and still is.
I'm sad that I didn't take his talk more seriously and really discuss things with him. What I'm going to do without him. I guess it's because I'm positive and didn't want to consider death.

To be candid, my husband had diabetes. Before or shortly after we got married my husband said, "Maybe God brought you into my life to help me to die."

They say, We start dying the moment we were born. However, we do not think about our own mortality until it hits us in the face with a death of a loved one. Vwidow, my heart goes out to you. Did your husband suffered from pain/depression? If he thought about death a lot and wanted to die for years, it is not normal, IMHO.

No we didn't. Just life. On top of everything else I felt like a fool at the funeral home. Everyone had questions and I didn't know how to answer. I had never thought about where he would want to be laid to rest or anything else for that matter.

Same here. We never discussed arrangements with my husband in case one of us dies. I guess, you don't think about it. There was no will, either. Instead we had lots of plans and just bought him a truck and a travel trailer for us (both financed through loans). We booked a flight to England and France. Until one day I found him on the floor unconscious: he had had a massive stroke. After 6 difficult weeks in a hospital my husband never recovered, succumbed to his illness, and died.
And yes, I also had no idea what to do with his body. We had no savings, just debts. So I had to go for a less expensive option (i.e.cremation) which I paid for with my credit card.
I am going to scatter his ashes in three places: San Diego, CA; England, and France. RIP, my darling Keith...

I know babochka that it's not "normal" to talk about death often. Maybe he sensed he was going to die. In the Spring of 2016 ( he died end of Jan. 2017) he said he wanted to do something with me before his time's up! I didn't take it to heart or even ask him the obvious: "Why do you think your time will be up?" We did go to our typical beach hotel for a week or so. He was in a torture device at the time ( external fixator) aka a halo--around his foot and calf. ( Foot reconstruction) but as it turned out deconstruction...
He also told me he was in a conflict in the Marines where 16 people died around him one day. I guess he thought he should have died too. I think that's where the "I should have died a long time ago" came from.. Thank you for your heartfelt sympathy.