Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
I was just having the retirement sale of my 20 year old business when Charlie died. That 's been a little over 2 months ago now. My shop closed 2 weeks after Charlie's funeral.
Tonight six of my long time emplyees took me to dinner for my birthday just passed. I was happy to see them all (some I had not seen since the shop closed.
I tried to laugh with them and follow the conversation while inside I was nothing but dead. Several of them retired when I did and talk turned to how they all filled their time. Of course, they finally got around to me.
Was I sewing? (My shop was a quilt shop, I published quilting books, made hundreds of quilts). No. Was I reading? (I was a voracious reader, 2 and 3 books a week) No. did I watch TV? No, it has not been on in two months.
So what did I do to fill the time? I finally admitted to spending time on the computer. I'm sorry I was not loyal to DS and say this was all I looked at. By this time they ere all looking at me like they couldn't figure out what was wrong. I did not say my favorites list contains 8 entries under the grieving folder.
I know most of them think I should be moving on when actually I am so much worse than I was two months ago. These people were trying their best to do something nice for me. I put a damper on the party by being at least halfway truthful.
Is it better to lie or should I just turn down invitations?
Julie
Tonight six of my long time emplyees took me to dinner for my birthday just passed. I was happy to see them all (some I had not seen since the shop closed.
I tried to laugh with them and follow the conversation while inside I was nothing but dead. Several of them retired when I did and talk turned to how they all filled their time. Of course, they finally got around to me.
Was I sewing? (My shop was a quilt shop, I published quilting books, made hundreds of quilts). No. Was I reading? (I was a voracious reader, 2 and 3 books a week) No. did I watch TV? No, it has not been on in two months.
So what did I do to fill the time? I finally admitted to spending time on the computer. I'm sorry I was not loyal to DS and say this was all I looked at. By this time they ere all looking at me like they couldn't figure out what was wrong. I did not say my favorites list contains 8 entries under the grieving folder.
I know most of them think I should be moving on when actually I am so much worse than I was two months ago. These people were trying their best to do something nice for me. I put a damper on the party by being at least halfway truthful.
Is it better to lie or should I just turn down invitations?
Julie
That sentiment applies to most things in my life at the moment
Why do people think we should be moving on
In my mind moving on means leaving Bill behind, something I can not see myself doing for a very very long time "if ever."
Always remember Julie the important people in your life will understand if you turn down invitations and will be there with a shoulder to cry on when you need it so I hope you will do whatever feels right for you. sending you Big Hugs