Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Death & Dying
/ Widows & Widowers Support Group

Sell or Stay

Norske1
Norske1
I lost my husband on Nov. 9 of this year to a short six-month battle with a rare kidney cancer. Two years ago we had our lake home completely remodeled with all the touches special to our taste, retired, sold our home in the city, and moved to here, on the lake and in a very small town.

Now that he has passed, I don't want to learn to drive a riding lawn mower or a snowblower and snowplow and am thinking I should sell and move back to the city, where friends are, more activity, volunteer opportunities, and closer to hospitals, etc.

Selling the lake home and buying a one level townhouse is what I am thinking. Any thoughts?
Norske1
Norske1
Another reason I am thinking of moving this summer came to me today when some friends stopped over. A couple that Al and I have been friends with for 30+ years. Everyone I know here are retired "couples". I have no widow friends here.

If I move back to the city, I have 3 good friends who are widowed and probably there will be more opportunity to meet more widows. Here all my friends are couples and really don't understand my lonliness.

Does that make sense?
RichnMe
RichnMe
They say (whoever they are) not to make any big decisions the first year. My one experience that I can share with you was about Rich's car. Right after the funeral and all the hubbub had died down. I came home one day saw Rich's car and thought "oh Rich is home" - then it hit me. The second time this happened - I called his best friend up and asked him to come over and get rid of it! I couldn't take it any more. I hardly cleaned out the car - took some personal items and didn't really care about the car "stuff". Of course I wasn't thinking straight. About a month ago - my tire was low and guess what - no tire gage! Of course now, six months later I'm thinking I should have gone through the car better and got some of that stuff outta there. Anyway, just wanted to share what happened to me when I made a rash decision when I wasn't thinking clearly. Sometimes if we just wait a while we might feel differently. I don't know - I sure don't have the answers - but maybe the lawn mower and snow blower might not be as bad as you think. Hope the best for you..