I was just thinking about this because I'm feeling the same way. I see other people and I don't understand why they get to have what I don't have. I'm jealous. I'm mad that my little boy lost his daddy and that my husband lost his life after battling so long and so hard. We had so much left to do and so many memories to make. And now he's gone and I'm just stuck. I don't know how to keep moving forward. But this is normal for both of us. This is grief. Please don't feel like you're abnormal and it's all self pity. You lost your love and it's a huge deal. It's going to take time. Hugs to you. Please vent whenever you need to.

Everything you are feeling is normal. Self pity is a part of grief. You have suffered a tremendous loss, nothing is as you knew it. Be patient and kind to yourself. Wishing you better days ahead. God Bless.

I have found that, among different members of the family, each relationship loss is very unique. but NOTHING is the same as losing our other half.
Some other family members resent seeing the depth of our spousal loss and grief.
some will try to compare pain, and are hurting so much that, in their presence, you may even be made to feel guilty or "as if" you are indulging in self pity, when you are truly just experiencing the deepest loss possible. The other half of You.
In marriage relationship "the two become one". That is not so, even with parental loss. not even with loss of a child.
Each relationship loss is unique, and many are very deep and sad and it is robbery when we lose loved ones.
but only in this, are we cut in half.

Amen!

Amen is right.

You are right on track to feel this way. I just reached my year mark and yes,,most of this time I felt exactly like you do. We had so much to look forward to,,just starting to retire, travel, enjoying our grandchildren and all the stopped suddenlyAs time goes on it will subside a bit, but I must say there are still times I have a pity party,,,keep coming here when you feel like you need to express yourself,,,it helped immensely
to know that what you are feeling is real..,

This type of loss is so devastating that it hits harder than other one we have gone thru. I don't think it's self pitty just so overwhelming that we aren't sure how to navigate thru it. Part of my healing is allowing myself to go thru this as often as need be as long as it doen't affect my ability to function with my job and daily tasks that need to be done.
Take care of yourself and feel anyway you need to to get to the place you need to be. Take care.
Peace, Tim

My Morey's death took over 2 years.......Over 2 years of watching him suffer, of feeling incapable of doing anything to alleviate his suffering. Then suddenly he collapsed and, again he had to languish in a state of immobility, pain and despair.

Watching someone you love die like this is horrific. It leaves memories that invade every waking and even sleeping moment of my life. I dream of him either being well and traveling with me or being locked and chained to a bed and I can't unlock the chains.

I'm at the 3 year mark and I thought I was getting better, moving forward and then suddenly something triggers the memories and back in hell.

There's no easy answer for us. Is it better that our mates die suddenly or lay in a vegetative state. For us to question ourselves in aspects of their death is so draining and hurtful to our healing process...I know...But, we do it anyway!!!........No answers!!!!!

We MUST prevail, do the best we can, try a keep some assemblance of a "normal" life.

I wish you all peace in your journey.....I'm right there with you!

Roz