Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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joec85 07/09/2016

Hey everyone. It has been a few months since I last checked in, or posted anything. As the one year marker comes hurtling closer and closer of the passing of my wife, my thoughts keep coming back to "How can I help myself?".

I actually looked up therapists and counsellors in my area several times months ago. I kept telling myself I would post something on here to ask for anyone's opinion on seeing a therapist and recommendations. In reality I don't think I was ready to talk to anyone. My thoughts were all jumbled and my goals just seemed too blurry. Now I think I'm ready. So with that said...here is what I wanted to ask:

Is there a specific type of therapist/counselor to see? There are a dozen different acronyms that follow people's titles and its a bit confusing (ex. LP, LCSW, LCPC, APRN).

Has anyone had better experiences with group therapy or one-on-one?

I thank you all in advance for sharing any thoughts and experiences.

PS. I'm 31 and accustomed to how websites and apps change in layout and design, but this "new version" of the site is quite terrible. I hope the admins fix this.

katie2016 07/10/2016

Hi Joe. I don't have any advice to offer, but just wanted to say that I am glad you posted. I am just past 6 months. Lots of people have suggested that I should (in some cases "must") see someone despite the fact that I have been managing quite well under the circumstances, I think as do many others. I didn't think it was right for me to this point and therefore would not be open to whatever might come of it. But I have also been thinking lately that maybe I would give it a go now.

Will be following.

JesusisOurSaviour 07/10/2016

Hi Joe,
It's good to know you're ok and obviously making good decisions for yourself. The first year for me, was a blur too.
I haven't a clue about therapist qualifications, I did find the hospice group and grief share really helpful for me.
Im hoping Martha, our CL will jump in here and give you some of her infinite wisdom. There are others too, who went for counselling, so keep checking in.
This site is just starting to "work" and that's exaggerated !!! BUT never give up...it will get better. I'm a forever Optimist!
Take care Joe and know that there a still many people here who have your back,
Hugs from Sandra

junlu 07/10/2016

Joe,

I lost my wife in February, after a two year battle with breast cancer. I knew it was coming but was still hard and I decided not to wait and seek counseling right away. The Hospice group has been providing the sessions for free since my wife was a patient. I am very please to have a place I could go and relief my pain without being judge.

I have two son and took both of them to one session, the oldest had already decided to go to his own since the sickness took a toll on him, my youngest has decided to skip it for now.

I wish you the best of luck in this journey that none of us want to be in

Shrn 07/10/2016

I attended a group therapy through hospice soon after my husband died. The advantage of being with newly widowed helped. Around the 3rd year I began private sessions with a great psychologist recommended by my primary care doctor. A lot of the jumbled thoughts began to make sense. I am a firm believer in therapy sessions. I found them valuable. Sharon

shelda 07/10/2016

I haven't gone yet as my husband died in the hospital and I am not ready to go there yet.

Minidogs2 07/10/2016

Sounds like you're at the time you would benefit greatly from seeing a good therapist. It's helping me to do individual therapy and attend a weekly support group that is free. You can ask your doctor or a friend you trust for a referral to someone good. The most important things are the expertise of the person in grief counseling and your connection with the person, which you won't know until you have at least one session. It helps to be ready to talk about your specific symptoms of depression and / or anxiety and what you want to get out of it. Keep in touch.

marjoe 07/11/2016

Joe, I went to a therapist soon after Joe died, he was recommended by my primary doc. He wasn't specifically a grief counselor. He listened to me. Sounds easy, right? But I needed listening to, without the "you should be's", without judgement, ....just hearing me. It doesn't have to be a long term deal, to me therapy is getting over that mountain, so to speak. I wish you luck!

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