Totally agree with you. Grief support groups also have some of the same benefits and more(sharing with others who get it). Dont be afraid of the tears. It is a cleansing that is a very necessary part of the healing process. Gerald

I agree. I see someone about once a month. And while I don't necessarily talk to her about things that I haven't already talked to family and friends about it is nice getting confirmations from and a neutral person and a professional. I take my daughter to a children's group where the parents meet separately. This is the second grief group I've gone to. I don't feel like I get as much out of these as the individual sessions at this point.

I also agree that counseling is good. I started to see my counselor after my family dr. told me that one condition for me to go back to work, was for me to have three sessions with a counselor. I am lucky to have my counselor paid through work benefits. I just seen her yesterday. I was going every other week now I go once a month. I can talk to her about what ever I need to.

I go every other week. and by the time I go my head is full of things I want to say about my husband. you are right...it is a really good release and I am glad you are going.

Count me with the ones who posted so far. I still see my counselor every other week and it's been the best copay medically I spend. Finding the right one for you is key. I have been to one that I didn't relate to so don't give up if you need to try another one. Sharon

Lol, my wife was a therapist and having a good connection with your therapist is important.

They will work just as hard as you do. You might not think that they are working hard, but it takes a lot of experience and insight to help people change their behavior. Lots of time the clients don't want to do much work and they will not get much out of the sessions.

So, find somebody you connect with, then put in the work. :)

Bob

No disrespect meant, but I don't like therapists, and will never go to see one again. I like this group, and that is it for me. Bad experiences - in the multiples - have shown me that therapists can manipulate you and cause damage. My son's case is a perfect example. You can not treat a patient and direct them to act in a way towards another without hearing from that person. Both have to be in therapy or it won't work. I've had other experiences in the same way. Not going to go through it again. In my opinion their degree is BS. Please forgive me for my opinion, but it is what it is.

The counselor I saw for my grief was someone I had seen previously for other issues, so it was someone that I knew and trusted. My sessions were free as they were provided as part of an Employee Assistance Program. My older son was able to have counseling for free also through the same therapist. My younger son received counseling through the school psychologist and his guidnace counselor (also free). Counseling for me and for my sons was one of the best decisions I have ever made, and I recommend it.

I have had both good and bad experiences with therapists, as did Cliff. Not every professional is competent, and not every therapist has the best type of insights to offer. Famously, after Cliff went through alcohol rehab and recovery, he had 3 therapists - 2 committed suicide and the 3rd relapsed and had to back through rehab himself. The therapist that we had for our couples counseling and my personal counseling as a co-dependent was hitting on the guys in the couples group and she also relapsed and had to go back through rehab. So yes, there are some pretty crappy ones out there. But I have had some very effective, talented people as therapists, too.

If you have a bad experience with one, I would not give up on the idea altogether. They are still people, just like all professionals, and some will be good and some will not. Talk with friends or with your doctor for recommendations, or Google proposed ones - there are a number of patient review sites now. Hospice can also direct you.

I am glad most have had positive experiences with counseling, and I hope those that haven't won't give up on the idea entirely.

Love and Hugs,
Martha

@Castle - I can appreciate that you might have had good experiences with therapists before. I don't know who you dealt with, and what their training was.

My wife had a MSW ( Masters in Social Work ) and was licensed. She had to take 90 credit hours at the Masters level, including practical experience that was supervised. Then to become licensed she had to work under supervision for over a year, where a licensed therapist coached and reviewed her cases with her.

They also must take 30 credit hours of continuing education on current therapy topics every two years to maintain their license. Additionally they must discuss their own personal issues with other therapists each year, as their own issues might cloud their work with their clients. I forgot what it is called, but they are people too, and they have issues that need to be kept in check.

So their training is not BS. And some of the therapists do care a lot about their clients. My wife saw several clients for years ( only charged them the co pay ). She was so concerned about them that she specifically asked me to be sure they had transitioned to a partner of hers before she died and had me take care of getting their files to the other therapist the last week of her life.

There were three of her clients who attended her funeral ( they identified themselves as clients at the graveside ). So I believe that you just ran into either some unlicensed, or just plain bad therapists.

I know you might have some some bad experiences, but there are some wonderful, caring people in that profession that can almost work wonders because they can really help.

So anyone who is thinking about a therapist, please go to one that has credentials and find somebody that you connect with.

As I have posted before I had anger management issues even before I lost my daughter and wife, and I did see a therapist for that, that was very helpful - my wife told me it is a great idea to get professional help.

Ok,that is the end of my rant :)

Bob

I saw a counselor for a while and she was the only person I was able to completely break down and cry in front of. It helped me so much and she helped me to see things differently. Glad it is helping you as well.

I am going to see my first therapist tomorrow. I am a Catholic and was thrilled to hear that a nun who is a licensed therapist is in our area for a few months. So much of what I need to talk about is tied in with my faith that I am sure I would not make any sense to someone not familiar with the faith. I am very excited and will let you know how it goes!

I'm getting ready to start a one on one with the lady who also does my grief support group at my local hospice. I like her and feel the need to discuss some things that I don't want to discuss with the group..mostly my own guilt issues and feeling I could have been a better wife. I hope it helps and I've been taking Xanax for anxiety and that helps. I've wondered if I should be on an anti anxiety or anti depressant because I miss my husband so terribly and feel my future is so bleak. I just want a neutral compassionate opinions on some things.

Congratulations on seeing a counselor. I saw one for almost a year after my husband died, I found it very helpful. It did not change the face Nick had died but it was a very helpful thing to do. I appreciate you sharing this as many people would also benefit but may be hesitant to see one.
Thank you for sharing your experience.

I am glad you this is helping you. You must have a good counselor.

I tried counseling, but I had a bad therapist. She gross-me-out by taking off her shoe and scratching her foot. I was supposed to be on a sliding scale, but tacked on an extra $10 per session. My sessions were supposed to be 45 mins, but she was usually late, so my sessions were down to 30 mins. I quit after 6 weeks. I was going to get a different therapist, but I got too stressed out and didn't follow through.

I believe in counseling. I believe it helps. I am glad it's working for you.