What happened to him? Sorry for your pain...I was your age when I married. Almost 7 years I knew husband. Married just over 6. He suffered with diabetes...

He was originally diagnosed with Pneumonia in the beginning of November but then the next three weeks were hell, he ended up in a medically induced comma and paralyzed while they tired to figure out what was going on with his lungs because everything they tried failed to work. In the end his body could not fight any more and he passed surrounded my Family and friends. I'm awaiting Autopsy results to find out exactly what caused this nightmare! He was a healthy 54 year old man one day working out and three weeks later passed away!

Sorry for your loss, Kim. I sometimes wish I had had an autopsy done, but they just put "cancer" on the DC. It might be better to not know. It could have been a combination of fifty different things that went wrong. He was very healthy when we got married in 2011 except for skin cancers. Anyway, I survived today and am ready to go to bed and read a good book. Next year I plan to regroup and decide whether to move again or to stay. I don't have any easy answers. The rug has once again been pulled out from under me.

Sorry for your loss as well. I'm not sure if the autopsy will help or not but my main reason was to be sure that there is not any kind of heredity thing going on that my daughter and his sisters should be concerned about. I hope 2018 will bring you the strength to be happy again, I know that my husband would be devastated by the tremendous sadness of my daughter and I even though there is no getting around it.

Hi Kim,

I'm so sorry for your loss and also sorry you had to find us. My 49 year-old husband was healthy the morning of Nov. 5th while we were raking leaves, he suddenly had very sharp abdominal pains that I thought was appendicitis, went to the ER and after a week in the hospital and two weeks of tests, discovered it was pancreatic cancer. He became delirious the day after Thanksgiving and passed 24 hours later, just 20 days total. We didn't even get to begin the fight. I'm so shocked, scared and lonely. We don't have children, so our home is too quiet.

If you would like to, I'll send you a friend request. If not, I completely understand.

Please know we are here for you and although we don't know your pain EXACTLY...we get it.

Sending you hugs, Kim. (I'm Kim, too! :-)

Hi Kim,

I'm so sorry to hear of your tragic loss. I unfortunately know how you feel. The day the decided to intubate and paralyze my husband I never thought would be the last time I would look into his eye ans see him there. The pain and heartbreak is overwhelming. I wish I could turn back the clock and tell him so many things. I get what you mean about your home being quiet. I work from home so I'm here all day and my husband coming home would break up my day and make me stop working. Now I just hate being in our home and can't stand that I feel this way. My daughter is 17 and very busy so I see her in between work,school & friends, I'm glad that she is not home sad but the emptiness is horrible. I've sent you a friends request so feel free to reach out any time.

Oh my, I can't even imagine the heartache you all are feeling, my heart just breaks for you. Praying that you feel a peace come over your lives that seem only filled with grief right now.

No one can imagine how it feels. It has been 62 days without my wife. And trying to be strong makes you all the more week. People around me are no support, there are just polite and must of them just do not know what to say. It is best to avoid them all together. They say life goes on, but it really doesn´t. Maybe some other life alien to me. But the life as I know it was buried with my wife.

I totally hear where you are coming from. Sometimes I'm like if one more person asks "how are you doing" I'm going to scream how do you think I'm doing? I know people are trying to be "nice" but I just wish they wouldn't.

Sorry to hear about the loss of your Wife and the pain you are dealing with. Trying my best not to crawl into a hole and disappear.

I miss my husband so much. I just want to talk to him about all of this. How horrible it is. I want to ask him how I'm suppose to survive this. That's the weirdest part to me..not being able to share this experience with him. I want him to know it SUCKS. I need a hug from him. He was only 55 and we had so many awesome plans. Now what??? Just an abyss of loneliness. I can't put anything away. Not his clean laundry..,.can't move his shoes from the front door or the water bottle and stuff on his bedside table. I'm not talking about cleaning out closets/drawers..I don't know if I'll ever do that. I want this to be a bad dream. Our kids are in their early 20's and seem to be doing okay. Mostly they take care of me. I hope they are okay and I'm not missing something. Just venting because I'm having a hard moment.....our anniversary is Jan 6th. We would be married 28 years.

Hi Deb, Sorry for you loss! It's such a terrible thing that we are going through. My husband was 54 and it was the same all the "plans" are now just pipe dreams. It's funny you say you have not touch any of his laundry and such, I woke up at 1 AM one morning and went crazy and threw every once of clothing with the exception of some shirts that had very fond memories attached to them and then two days later felt like a total loser for doing it... Grief is a strange thing, it seems I have days where I'm almost mad at him for leaving me behind to deal with all this and these are the days that I just lock myself in the house. We would have been married 24 years in January on the 15h! Please feel free to reach out if you need to chat! xx

Hi Kim I understand the anger thing. Sometimes I try and remember the stuff my husband did that annoyed me just so I can maybe stop feeling so sad. It doesn't work. I would just prefer to feel angry instead of this horrible sadness and loneliness. Even though I do have those moments of anger (how could you leave me alone? I wasn't READY FOR THIS!!!) they dissipate because I know how much he wanted to live. How sad he was that he wasn't going to get to see grandchildren or walk his beautiful daughter down the aisle on her wedding day. He was SO SAD too (I'm sure this is the same for everyone...of course our loved ones all wanted to live for goodness sakes). It all happened way quicker than we thought. We believed we had more time so I feel cheated. That makes me ANGRY. Today I am going to do some cleaning. I am going to throw away the month old chili he made that is still in the fridge. I just couldn't do it but today is the day. Maybe not throw anything away but rearrange some stuff so I don't have to see the things that bring on a wave of sadness every single time I walk into our bedroom. I have locked myself in my house many days. I don't think you are a total a loser for throwing out the clothes/stuff that didn't have special memories attached to them..I think you had a moment of strength and went with it. It's inspiring me to do something today. So thank you.

Thanks Deb, I hope you had a good day today. I'm glad 2017 is over and done with and am looking forward to 2018! xx

deb , i too tried to think of those little annoying things only to find how much i miss them. stuff is stuff , memories and love are everything

I try to stay busy. It works some times. I feel most alone at night. Sleeping is not good. I still want to all the time. My son is 15 he tries to be strong for me.