Same words hereHad a busy Christmas Eve with the family, now the realization just hit meHe would never leave me alone for Christmas day,,never. After hosting Christmas Eve every year, the next day we would have a bloody mary, hang out, take a car ride, and then go to a Japanese restaurant , moviewe loved that time together just us . Funny I just passed my lake and saw two swans and one lonely swan by itself and thought,,wow how I am feeling like that swan today.ugggg..

Me too. Carla left yesterday to go back to her home, and I've got to get ready to go "celebrate" Christmas with my family out of town and I'm dragging my feet - everyone always came here to our house and it was Juanita's favorite day of the year -- I can see her in the kitchen making all our favorite dishes and can almost smell all the food she's cooking while I say, "What can I do to help?", knowing all she would say is, "You can take out the garbage for me please." And the realization that she is not here, and will never be here again makes me so very sad. And so it continues with just me by myself. Merry Christmas my Juanita -- I will always love you. I thank you for all the wonderful years you shared with me. ~ Your loving husband, Scottie

I had been dreading this day. I had heard on the site that the days leading up to it are worse, but it's pretty bad. I miss my beloved every day, but am really missing him today more than ever. Can't wait for tv shows and radio music to "normalize", which should hopefully be this evening.

I know what you mean. There have been tears off and on here at my home too. So bittersweet. I'm trying to remember the wonderful times that have been had in this old house. Changing a few traditions but wishing I didn't have to. Wondering if he knows how much he is missed and loved. Sitting in his big comfy chair pretending it's his strong arms around me still. I know there is a new path that has been chosen for me and I'm trying to stay on it. One door has closed. I'm just not sure which door to open next. But just for today...I think I'm going to tuck my head under my wings and go back to the happy days of our youth and carefree spirit that guided us through so many years together. I will never stop looking for the silver lining and feeling blessed for the gifts that I have been given. I'm a lucky girl weather I believe it or not sometimes.
Love and peace to all of you. Thanks for always being here.
Darcie

Same words here! This would have been our 12th Christmas together. My husband passed away Nov. 14th, 2015. It all still seems so unreal to me. I keep expecting him to walk through the door, but knowing he never will. I'm curled up on our bed, watching the series 'Limitless' that he loved so much. Curled up with our kids (cats) :) before I have to go to work here in a few hours, but going to go over early. I take care of two great people in the house they share. But, if you got friends or family go visit them. They'll honestly understand your need to be around people today. Or as some have suggested a movie, or someplace that is open for food. ff you're on FB chat with people their. I've learned who I can really count on and being 2700 miles from any of my family. It's been a true blessing that is for sure!