I am sorry for your loss. I think there is no true normal...there are common feelings but everyone is different. I was angry but have worked past that for the most part. You may feel anger at some point or you might not. Allow yourself to feel whatever it is you feel. I concluded that although I felt angry and at times still do, it accomplishes nothing....so not feeling angry is certainly not a bad thing. No two people feel the exact same or go through the exact same process on this journey. Be kind and patient with yourself. God bless.

Yoshi,
I, too, have not felt anger, I feel sadness and loneliness, and sometimes frustration, but not anger. Mark was 57, I was 52, when he died last April. Our youngest was 15.
We feel what we feel. There is no right or wrong. Wishing peace and love to you and your family!
Mary

I'll do my best. Everything is so raw right now. I keeping thinking these wild thoughts of having to raise my kids alone and not being able to do it. Or moving on and meeting someone else and how my kids would feel or what my wife would think of them or even me. I can't help but think this way. I'm 32 years old and my wife is gone and I've never felt so alone in my life. Today I drove home and told myself that I don't have her to even call anymore and that did nothing more than bring tears to my eyes. I've told myself that I will stay busy and keep things going but I'm trying to balance my time with my in-laws because I know they're in pain too. I dropped my kids off today so they could stay with them and that just made me feel even more alone when I got home tonight to an empty house. It's just so hard right now.

I want to say how very sorry I am for your deep loss. You have so very many burdens that you are bearing with young children and the trauma of your wife's death. My heart goes out to you and I hope that you have someone to walk with you during this most difficult of times.

My husband passed away a year and a half ago from colon cancer and I have not felt anger either. Hurt, sadness, fear in abundance but not anger. Well, I guess I can't say that really. I am extremely angry at cancer and the devastation that it causes so many.

I hope that you will continue to come back and share your journey with us. We are all walking this path at different stages and can understand your pain in a way that perhaps many cannot.

You are just being unselfish by doing what you feel is best for your children. Allowing them to spend time with your in-laws is also very generous of you. I think you will find having your children around you to be comforting. And I think you are right about not showing anger in front of them. But don't be surprised or upset with yourself if you do feel angry. Grief comes in waves and cycles. You will have very low days and a few okay days. Let yourself feel all of those emotions. It is part of the moving forward to heal.
Take it one day at a time and don't try to look to far into the future right now. Come here often and talk to others. So sorry for your heart ache.

I am very sorry for your loss, as it is such a hard journey, but this site has helped me so many times to get through another day or a shoulder to cry on. I never felt any anger which I'm thankful for as it's hard enough without another layer of emotions. Your in the most difficult early stages where all you can do is try to get by one day/minute/second at a time. Don't look to far ahead right now as it is over whelming. Just take care of yourself and your children and don't be afraid to ask for help. Try to eat, rest and drink plenty of water.
God Bless,
Russ

hi, im sorry about your wife. I lost my husband while I was pregnant with our second son and it was a week away from our other sons second birthday .he was 42 and I was 25. his death could have been prevented and I experience a lot of guilt (even though he wouldn't like that at all). but I have never felt anger. I miss him...its not fair. we were beyond best friends and we belonged together. but im not angry at him or anything. I focus on our children and myself. I know I will not date til they are much older. I need time to get on track and I want to teach them all about their dad and not confuse them with another person. I am at 9 months now. and my husbands bday is tomorrow. I am upset, but trying to make it positive, we are having a small celebration of his life tomorrow night when I get back from making the trip to the veterans cemetery. give your self time. the beginning is full of so many question marks. I didn't think I would make it this far. I hurt, but I am here and I am now enjoying our sons and enjoy seeing how much they are like their daddy.

Sorry for the loss of your wife. I am at 18 months. I lost my husband to cancer. He fought for four and half years. He was 52 when he passed away. My anger was before he died. At God, at my husband and most of all myself. I went through a six month or so period where I was just angry. I could not believe this disease was doing between my family. Then I realized that I was allowing this disease to overcome my life. So I put my big girl panties on and asked my husband and God to forgive me for being so selfish.

Thanks for the support guys. This week has been really hard with the funeral and all, especially on Wednesday for my daughters birthday. I just felt numb knowing that my wife was gone and our daughter was turning two and will never know her mother. I maintained my composure all weekend with the wake and funeral but inside I'm dying knowing what unknowingly lies ahead. However, still I cannot feel that anger. I went through all that with my wife's cancer and now I'm just going to try and let it go as long as possible. I know there will be harder days than others, for instance, the anniversary of my son's death is fast approaching as well as our wedding anniversary and I'm terrified, but still I feel that I cannot feel that anger anymore. That's why I came here to this group. I know many of you can understand what I feel, unlike many around me who offer the usual " call me if you need anything" but don't know that I feel completely helpless. Thanks again for all the support.

Yoshi,
I like everyone else here feel your pain. I've read a few of your posts and I need to say this so don't take it wrong...Relax. It's only been a short time. I know you want and need answers now but relax. I am @ 4 months now. I have had every emotion you can think of...they come , they go. I think I'm ok, then I'm not. Just let it happen. They don't call it a roller coaster for nothing.
If at some point you do feel anger let it out. Maybe not in front of the kids but let it out. If you bottle it up it only gets worse.
But then again you may never feel it. Consider yourself lucky. I have had raging talks with God...then I felt guilty for yelling at Him and Michael is still gone.
Take care of yourself. Be good to yourself. Let the tears flow and ride the ride. I think it helps the process if you do.
Warmest hugs and peace,
Nancy

I'm quite new to this "process" too. It's only been 3 1/2 weeks since I lost my husband. However, I've been on this site quite a lot and found it helpful. The one thing I've picked up here is that there is no "normal". Every person's experience in different.
Unlike you, I have a lot of anger towards God. I'm doing my best not to let my children see that though. Maybe I wouldn't have as much anger if his death had been expected? Then again, maybe I would. No way to know I guess. Regardless, I think both of our reactions are "normal".
Like you, I understand that loneliness upon coming home to an empty house. And I understand the hurt of knowing that your child won't remember their parent. My youngest is 4 months old. I hate that he won't remember his amazing daddy.
I'm afraid that I have no real answers here for you but wanted to let you know that you're not alone. I sincerely hope that you, along with everyone else on this site, are able to find peace.