Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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/ Widows & Widowers Support Group

Retiring April 1st

russ1153
russ1153
Well, I did it! I had planned to retire in spring of 2013, but when my wife Laurie died I decided to put it off as I still needed a place to go and friends to be around. By the end of 2013 I felt I wanted to retire again, so I set a date of April 1, 2014, 39 years to the day I started with my company. I have been struggling the last few weekends and now that it's almost here I'm starting to panic that I'll spend all of my time feeling like this. I should know better as I have been through many ups and downs, but all of sudden the thought of retiring scares me. I'm so tired of feeling like this and would love to move forward, but it still feels so hard to do. I haven't dated at all and still can't imagine being with anyone else. My 3 adult children are still living at home, which helps, but there is really nothing they can do or say to make me feel better. My friends on here are the only ones who can really understand. No real question, just a chance to express myself.
Thanks,
Russ
lrs55
lrs55
Russ, retirement is a big decision for sure. It was a major adjustment for my husband when he retired at 54. Mostly he missed the attaboys that he got at work. I told him that he entered the world of the housewife and mother where no one ever noticed or acknowledged anything that you did!

I noticed that you said you liked to do things around the house. One thing that I have appreciated SO much is a small group of retired men in our church who volunteer to help others with tasks around their homes. They focus on widows and the elderly and seem to keep pretty busy even in our small community.

I think that volunteer work is wonderful and a great way to keep us feeling needed, as well as not getting too self-absorbed which I think can be an issue for those of us living alone.

I wish you the very best in this new phase of your life and look forward to hearing all about your transition!
barbarame
barbarame
One giant step! Now is the time to do something just for you. Is there anything you have always wanted to do? What is still on the bucket list? I learned a new language and am considering getting another degree, or maybe just studying a few subjects for non degree purposes.... Even if it should take me 10 years, so what? Here's my hat, where is my hurry? I know exactly what you are saying, but we all have a private space that even our beloved partner was not part of....You could take yourself to the library and read to kids..visit the sick or lonely. Above all, LIVE! ((HUGS))
Community Leadercliffskat
cliffskat
Congratulations on reaching your retirement! I hope it goes well for you. If you do get bored, or would like to stay in touch with the business world, you could always volunteer with SCORE (Service Corps of Retired Executives). Here is a link to their site, if you're interested:

http://www.score.org/

Good luck!!

Love and Hugs,
Martha
livingdisengaged
livingdisengaged
Congratulations on your retirement today! I know it will be a bittersweet day but be proud of reaching your goals and being able to do this. Hope that you find some fun and relaxing activities to keep you busy.