Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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hiskim 04/28/2015

I have to pick up Dons ashes today. He's been gone 1 week today. I'm having trouble breathing. I want to die with him, but I'll keep living until the Lord calls me home. People say I'm strong, and I guess I am, but I wish I wasn't. Don's memorial is Thursday. It feels like forever or just a minute. I'm not sure if I'm making sense right now. Dear God...

IvyPhoenix 04/29/2015

Lisa.. that link is beautiful. I may consider it as well. We are using part of his ashes to grow a tree with a company he picked out about a year ago. It is what he asked from me. I like the idea of knowing that a part of him will live on..

kimmyewing 04/30/2015

I know about splitting ashes and all the different ways it can be done but I feel very very very strange about it. I know this is morbid but I would constantly think.... which part did I get, what part of his body is hanging around my neck. I just can't do that. And he belongs outside, that's where he liked to be and because of his illness he spent a lot of the last three years in the house and I don't want to keep him inside of anything.

Coop84 04/30/2015

It was the one of the worst days for me when they delivered Art's ashes to me. Will be thinking of you today. We are here for you. Hugs Sue.

Jacuzzi63 05/02/2015

I allowed my husband's family to take his ashes back to Australia, because that's what HE would have wanted. He wanted to be buried with his parents at the Manly cemetery. Now, I wish I'd kept them, or at least some part of them, because they've disposed of them and haven't even told me where. He's NOT with his parents, that I do know. The kids and I have nowhere to lay flowers for him, nowhere to visit. It hurts me so much - I never want to speak to my in laws again now...

Shrn 05/02/2015

Picking up my husband's ashes was very upsetting for me too. I went alone to the funeral home and drove to where he had worked for 30 years and retired from. It's not that I thought he was there anymore, but it was where he had worked for so long. I just sat in the parking lot and sobbed. Then "we" drove to my parents grave to continue my tears. I felt I had no place to go. I felt my life had died with him yet here I was.

You will survive and we are here to support you. Sharon

lostpartner 05/02/2015

I rode my bike to go pick up DH, so we could take one last bike ride together. We had such a good time. I know - sounds weird.

I am having a problem with his daughter wanting some of his ashes. He was never close to either of his kids (he had a son, too).

I think I'm just going to say that I'm more comfortable having him here with me but I might reconsider in the future. I know DH would come back and haunt me if he ended up anywhere near his ex-wife :-)

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