I feel no alienation. We're all in this together. Having differences does not separate us during the pain which we do share. I appreciate very much the kind and gracious tone of your post here. That is rare these days.
I read more than I post now, and am really not at my best communicating in group formats, but one-on-one...or at least I usually feel most comfortable there. Grief creates very Raw conditions.
Feel free to private msg me anytime. it doesn't have to be a big deal, to just want to say something in a quieter way.
All my best to you,
Barb.

Hi. Did your wife hold similar beliefs to you? And what about your daughters?
Rather than religion or no religion it might help you to think about what"s true or untrue. Real or unreal...
My sympathy to you.

My wife had similar beliefs. I have no daughters. My sympathies to you for thinking you know what's true or untrue, Real or unreal.

Rick51 - it is OK to be agnostic. Grief does not have to be mixed with or helped or held back by your religious belief, or lack of it. I am myself much closer to agnostic end of the spectrum as well. It means however you have to do a bit more self-work on your own.

Thanks rain, I think your right about the burden of self-work that confronts myself and others with similar beliefs.

I am here with you Rick, my husband and I preferred no religion in our lives also. Not really sure what I believe. I do know that I will never judge a person on their beliefs and I would hope to never be judged on mine. I know I miss my husband more than anyone can understand. The pain we share is an awful part of life. I hope somehow we can get through to a point where it doesn't hurt just to breathe.

Thanks Kakra.

Rick, I am very sorry for your loss. I've been on this site now for 3 years. There are a lot of Christians here that will make reference to their religion, but not all of us relate to being Christian. My husband and I were not religious, although I consider myself spiritual. Since losing my husband I have had many people refer to the Lord and how he will help me heal and guide me on this journey. I do not get offended because they are saying these things out of kindness. Tolerance and compassion is what the world needs. I wish you peace and healing as you learn to cope and live with your loss.

one year and three days since my wife of 47 yrs died after 4 and 1/2 years of cancer. i was flipping throug my 500 channels when i came upon a preacher who told me god answers prayer by giving you gold teeth. he said god was frequently bored and also a prankster.if i ever do meet god, i am going to punch him in the face

if i meet jesus,i am going tp punch him 491 times,lets see if he still turns the other cheek

Nebby. I didn't think I would ever laugh again, and then I read your post. Thank you.

i didnt realize that your loss was so recent. after a year , my grief is more profound than ever, in the end your sense of humor can still comfort you

We ALL hurt and grieve.
to raininseattle & Rick51 , I think grief requires more self-work from all of us, regardless of beliefs.!
Argh. I have never felt so exhausted by anything as this spousal loss. but I guess any significant amputations do that, with all the compensating and adaptations they require just learning to get from point A to point B. I want to be at point Q or something.
It's sucks being tired for 2 1/2+ years straight. Walking around with the other half of me instantly gone after 42 years. ya know?..

Sorry for your loss AfterMom. Tired emotionally, or physically after 2.5 yrs? Have you heard of anyone surviving the grieving process to regain a reasonably happy life after such a lengthy sharing of love and life of 40 plus years with another person?

Yes Rick, to answer your question in the post right above this reply....love and happiness finding you again certainly can happen, even after a very lengthy marriage! My husband and I were together for 40 years, 30 of them married. He was my very best friend and we had a wonderful marriage. Unexpectedly and much to my amazement I find myself in another beautiful and loving relationship with a widower whom I met on this very site! He also had a very long and wonderful marriage to his best friend. There were times when neither of us thought that we would ever survive the grieving process let alone find such love and happiness again, but we have! It will be two years for us next week! Just wanted you to know that it is possible.
:)
Darcie