Nicker07,

When one of our daughters lived in New Mexico for several years and our grandchildren were 2 1/2 and a newborn, our daughter developed several methods to keep our faces familiar and our character and personalities before them as they grew in age. She had pictures of the four grandparents as a screen saver on her PC, and she shared with us funny stories of how the grandchildren would toddle by and see those pictures floating across the screen, pointing and squealing, 'Grandma, Grandpa'! She made duplicate pictures of family photos and placed them in play albums that they would become intrigued with as they played with their toys. She spoke often of family traditions and holidays, causing them to feel as though they knew us well. All of these things helped to keep their grandparents in the forefront of those young minds. When our daughter and her family returned, our grandchildren were already familiar with Grandma and Grandpa. It would have been a much more difficult transition for them had our daughter not made those marvelous efforts.

Our comprehension about relatives who died before our birth or before we had the chance to know them is usually gleaned from others sharing memories and experiences. Our thoughts and opinions about them are a culmination of all the stories that have been shared. We become familiar with who they were by virtue of being told of their character qualities, integrity, and honesty (or in some cases the opposite). Casual conversations and remembrances help those who never made the acquaintance feel part of the experience by virtue of communication.

If you want to instill the memory of your Roger to Maddox, you have wonderful opportunities ahead. Share your marvelous experiences and never tire of letting Maddox know Roger was REAL, he LIVED, he LOVED, and he would have ADORED him. Blessings on this very important endeavor. TJ

The twins were only 7 month old when Bill passed away. I made them up a photo book of pictures. I included Momma with her Daddy at the wedding and pictures of Bill with the girls. They have pretty much torn the book apart looking at it. I think I may have a hard cover book made through one of the photo sites.

It is sad that they will never know their Papa, He would get such a kick out of the girls. But they will know about him.

Thank You good ideas

Maddox will come to know Roger through the stories and pictures you share. Children LOVE stories especially if the stories are about people who would love them. Talk, talk, share. What a wonderful gift you will give Maddox and Roger.

I question this myself with baby Michael born after Mike died. I will not take Mike's things away, or make major changel till this baby is old enough to understand that he does have a daddy.

Maggie

As a kid, I grew up without my grandparents - 3 had passed before I was born, the 4th I didn't see past the age of 4. But my parents always told stories of their lives before I was born, so I knew a lot about my grandparents and I understood where I came from and what my heritage was. Plus Momma would show us pictures, and sometimes she'd play some music and say 'that was your Grandma's favorite song' and things like that. Some of the stories were sad and some were hilarious, but I always knew that they were a part of us.

As widows, we wind up responsible for our spouses' legacies. Tell Maddox the stories, show him the pictures, share the songs. It will be good for both of you.

Love and Hugs, Martha

I think sometimes we underestimate how much our little ones can take in to their hearts and memories. My grandson was only 3 when Joe died, and yet a year later, we were riding in the car together and all of a sudden he said, "There's Grandpa!" (Excuse me, some of you have heard this story) and I said "Where?" He said, "Up there", while pointing to a Kentucky Fried Chicken sign with Col. Sanders on it. Without the goatee, there IS a resemblance with Joe. My point is, we don't know all the bit and pieces of information and loved that are stored in their little heads. My little sweetheart has NOT forgotten his grandpa and we talk about him a lot, like his favorite things, things he did, etc. Conversation and pictures can make our departed loved ones come alive to our little ones who had so little time to know them, or never knew them at all.

I have one granddaughter that was born after Carlos passed away and I will talk to her and show her pictures of him. She will know how much he would have loved her and what fun they would have had together. My daughter told me the other day my niece will know my dad so well because I will talk to her about him. I think pictures and sharing memories with them helps.

I will tell the stories over and over. I am terrified, that my daughter, who is 10, will forget her Dad. We have pictures every where and it is still so new, that she remembers every thing and talks about him all the time. But, what about when she is 15 and 20 and 30, will she remember him then??? I will tell the stories and share the pictures and watch the videos with her, and hope that she remembers all the wonderful things her Dad was in our lives. And then hopefully, someday I will get to share him with grandchildren he never got to know at all. This whole thing is so unfair.

My son was 8 months old when his dad passed. I created a picture book called "My Daddy Loved..." with photos of him doing all the things he loved and pics of him with his family and his son. I made the book online on Snapfish.com so it is bound with a hardcover and can be reprinted. I gave a copy to my husband's family as well. He will get to see all the things his dad loved and all the people he cared about whenever he wants. And of course will hear lots about him from the rest of us.