Yes I feel this way. Canada Day just passed (July 1) and I didn't know what to do. We always watched the fireworks going up around the lake (Lake Ontario). It was beautiful. With the virus and the weather being rather dicey (rain and thunderstorms), it was a strange day with hardly any fireworks and I decided to treat it like any other day and not dwell on things too much. Mike passed 02/11/14. :(

Sorry for your loss and agree it is best to treat it like an ordinary day. Have to keep busy and it will pass. I feel free to express myself on this site as my family and friends sometimes just don't understand that after all this time, why should I still grieve for my husband, John, but I do. Happy July 4 and July 1!

((Hugs))

Hugs

I identify with your posting and feel exactly the same. I miss my husband so much, and holidays and special occasions just magnify the loss. Yes, we all have the happy memories that we cherish; however, there also is a large degree of sadness when remembering the happy times. I spent the holiday weekend thinking about past 4ths when we had big family gatherings, eating crabs, and just laughter enjoying each other's company. Since my husband passed, I have lost all my siblings and their wives. Holidays seem so empty now, and I am always glad when they are over. Even retirement is different than I ever imagined. After working 44 years for our local school system, I retired but found it so lonely here at home. I volunteered at a couple of places and then accepted a full-time job at a pantry. It's a fulfilling job, but I still think how it would have been so different if John had been here. I surely would not be working at age 70. We had plans to travel and just spend time together; all those plans were gone in a matter of months. I still struggle with life in general but am trying to make the best of what time I have left. It's hard. Not a day goes by that I don't think of the love we shared. We were going to grow old together, and it just didn't work out that way.

I feel exactly as you do. I am 73, retired from hospital work after 32 yrs and now I volunteer for Make-a-Wish, donating my time for fundraisers. It is satisfying to volunteer, do church work, babysit grandchildren, be with friends, family but ALWAYS missing my husband. The dreams we all had are just gone, like retiring, traveling, like you said growing old together. To friends and family I hide my feelings well as I don't want to hear one more time.......your still grieving, get over it, move on, start a new life, or oh just stop it! Oh if it was only that easy! So thankful for this site, to express how I really feel sometimes, and to everyone feeling like me, bless you all, I'm thinking and hugging each of you.

I just joined this site-I am elderly but in good health and have a volunteer job I love and belong to a great church.
I have lost two husbands to death- it has been almost 25 years since my last lost but it seemed to me that the Covid Stay at Home has caused depression in some of the widows I know.It seemed to have magnified the fact that we could not always get help if something broke-and our church had to change drastically due to the virus.
Things are getting back to normal now- but still, a widower at my church said to me that really no one but other widows and widowers really understand that our lives are different from most of the people we know-other seniors who thankfully still have a spouse.
A friend of mine is still dealing with her husband's death 5 years ago- and even with her adult children still living at home. They help a lot but she knows everything is still up to her to handle, and her husband did so much.
I am glad to see a forum here for us.
I hope God Blesses all of you. It is not easy but we can survive and deal with the grief and always remember the good memories.