I also contacted Rob's tattoo artist about the work.I want done. It's a memorial tattoo of his favorite comic book chatacter. So I gave myself some little thing to look forward to. A tiny little hope.

Marylou went to the Other Side on June 12th of last year, after 27 years married and 32 years together...by the end of July I had my love for her carved into my right forearm, the roman numerals for our secret number done in a badass-looking medieval font that I found on the internet...the idea for it was born the day Marylou passed, and I have to say, I do feel closer to Marylou after I got the tat than I did before...eventually I want to fill it in with 3 large stars overhead for our 3 daughters, and 9 smaller stars underneath for our 9 grandchildren. blue for the boys, pink for the girls, and some other stuff to fill in the sleeve.
I had some thoughts after it was on there...this is my love for my wife carved in there permanently for the world to see...what if I should find myself in a relationship with somebody else in the future...but no problem...I primarily feel that I am still married to her, always will be...and when I meet her on the other side, she will see me wearing both her and my rings and my tattoo, knowing our marriage vows will still be intact. We made each other a promise...I still love her more than my own life, and this is the way it's going to be, simple as that.
Somebody asked on a previous post what is a good skin conditioner to use while the tattoo is healing. Takes 2-3 weeks, and I have had great results with Lubriderm.

My wedding ring us a tattoo. I'm going to have it touched up as well. And I'm going to get the words "love you more" on my arm. It's what we always said to each other. The big tattoo will be in a place I can't see all the time (leg) and I want something I can look at all the time as well.

When we drove places he always put his hand on my leg. That's the spot the big tattoo will go.

Hi Fuchiasky, I know your really sad and want your Rob back. That's natural and part of this whole grieving thing.

On the tat issue, I know my opinion here won't be popular, but this is my opinion. I enjoy looking at peoples tats and compliment those that in my liking. It is a form of self-expression, and it is an art form. So usually I would say, To each his own. But getting a tattoo is not like getting a hair cut. It is a permanent decision. We are told to wait a year before making any major decisions if you can. That is my advice to you regarding a tattoo. And here is why. Odds are that you will someday meet a special someone and fall in love and marry again. It is not uncommon for someone early in grief to say, I will never marry again. Well, that stance may change when you find yourself in love with another. And here's the catch. Most men are possessive and insecure, and we don't like competition when we are in a committed relationship. I can't speak for women, but I'm assuming it similar. It is difficult for a widow or widower to marry again, and if they also marry someone who has also lost their spouse, they get it and will have empathy for your grief. But marry someone that has not lost a spouse, and you've got them competing against a ghost, and I've seen alot of people just walk away from a marriage for a whole lot less. I think that would be very difficult because they can't understand that which they never experienced. Pictures and urns and photo albums and clothes can be put out of site, out of mind. Yes, a tattoo can be covered, but is there to see when uncovered. And it would be a constant reminder to your new spouse of his unbeatable competition. And what if he doesn't like it? He may say he does, but after the honeymoon, it may just start bugging him because truth is, you will carry this grief with you into new relationships in different degrees the rest of your life. So think about it. If you know for absolute certain that you won't marry again, go for it. But the real answer is that you don't know, none of us do. So wait the full year and then see if your thoughts have changed. Just my opinion is all.

As you probably guessed, I don't have a tattoo. I do have a son that went off to NYU Film School, started apprenticing at a tat shop in Greenwich Village, came home and opened his own tat shop. He's covered from head to toe. And he has some he got while running in hardcore addiction that he wishes now he hadn't of. We can change, thank God.~~ Scottie

I had my tattoo done 1 month after Howie passed.. It is on the inside of my left wrist and his date of birth and date of passing is part of it.

Unlike the favourite comic book character, there is no doubt that this is a memorial tattoo. I did not wait a year and I am glad that I did not. That tattoo has been a source of strength that no one else can understand.

At 48 when I had it done , the possibility of moving on with someone else was there and yes I was told "why would you do that ?" "What if you meet someone else?" To that I answer, if it is the right man , this won't be an issue . We all come with baggages and I none of us ended a relationship because we wanted to but because we had to. While not visual, there is an enormous tattoo on our heart that we will carry always. A strong caring man will understand this and embrace it.

That's is one area where my husband was amazing...He understood my needs to make my own choices and live with them and vice versa...

Right now , that tattoo can give you the much needed strength you need and I say go for it.

Scottie I have thought of that. But the truth is that I already have my ring tattooed so any man would have to accept that. I also have another larger piece already. I use them to mark events in my life and have several planned.

My mom said it best - any man that would be right for me would understand and love Rob through the parts of him that will always be with me. He will always be in my heart. And I am not the woman I was when I met him. I have grown a lot with him. The parts of him that stay are those of love. Any man who is threatened by love is not the right one for me. I am not a jealous person and don't accept it well in others. To me love is more important than possessiveness.

Another man can have my other finger...other leg... another part of my heart. But parts of me are and always will be Rob's.

One of the plans is for a family set of tattoos...me rob and each of the kids. All as dragons as that us important to us as a family. But I'm not planning a finished design. It will have room for more family if I end up with more.

No one can compete with the love we have as a family. But they can join it. The next man will be as amazing as Rob so no need to compete. If he's not I won't have him. When you have known true unconditional love nothing else us good enough.

I figured my reply would not be popular, but never considered that I might be wrong. So after reading handg and your reply fuchsiasky, I understand a lot better now and admit I was wrong in what I wrote. To me, tattoos are kind of like smart phones and texting. Well, I never sent a text until about 3 months ago (from my 6 year old flip phone - what a pain). And then Friday, I got me one of those fancy smart phones, and it lets me talk my texts and it types what I say. So this dinosaur is able to adapt to a new world out there, kicking and screaming because he liked things just the way they were. So fuchsiasky, I understand now and if you think it will bring you comfort, go for it! ~~ Scottie

They hold great meaning to me. I see my body as a canvas of my life. I got my first one to mark getting my degree. My second is my ring. By the end of life I'll be covered! It makes me happy to look at myself and see the achievements. The scars. The strength.

I have a tat on my right shoulder of a hummingbird that I got with Don. It reminds me of that day always. I have a second one of a small bear with flowers on my left ankle. I didn't feel the need for more, but my/our daughter has a memorial tattoo of her father and loves it. It is her first. I see no reason to wait. You're right about if you find love again, my current husband has accepted all parts of Don that came with loving me. Take a picture of it once you have it and post it for us to see. Sharon