Thank them politely and tell them that you will date when you are ready and not a moment sooner. Don't be afraid to be assertive. Venture into dating when you are ready. It's not scary, though it can be trying at times. God bless!

It is quite a confusing issue, sometimes I feel I would like a new partner and others I fear I would make a big mistake and regret it. At only seven months since I lost my partner it is way too soon anyway for me. I am setting myself the goal of one year before I make any major decisions like moving home, returning to some kind of work, seeking out new friends, taking up new interests or indeed seeking out a partner. I don't have any direct pressure from family or friends but I know that some of them would have me return to the past and so far I have resisted this.

I advise that you do what you feel is best for you and at a time when you feel ready. Good luck.

Tell them it's not up for discussion. Don't do anything until you are ready plain and simple. You will know when and if the time is right. Hugs

I am always amazed when others think they know what is best for someone other than themselves. I imagine they mean well, but these decisions are personal and in your own time frame. As Suzie said, WHEN and IF----it's certainly not a requirement :-)
I think it's important to do what we feel is right for ourselves and not feel pressured-----

Hugs to you,
Sallie

I have had several people tell me, "You'll get married again" Hey it's not even a year yet, who says I even want to remarry (I'm 62 after 25 years of marriage).
Recently some one said that, and we were able to have an open conversation. Finally what she said was, "I just wanted you to know there can be a future and you have many dreams yet to fulfill"
I found this quite comforting and beautiful. I share it jbecause I think many of the "date-now" pushers are genuinely concerned for our welfare. They just don't realize that losing a loved spouse is not the same as breaking up with a boyfriend.

"Thanks, I'll give it some thought" might be another response.

Or " I'll know when I'm ready and it is not yet."

Dandy

Hi, some people i.e close and trusted friends and family members feel they are helping us with restablishing something that is now missing in our lives such as a new relationship. It is so very easy for that person(s) to talk about this and have this wish and hope for us.
We can thank them for the support and let them know how we feel about this and that is it really up to us in this matter. They are issues and details about your life the person may not be aware of and you can make these issues and details very clear to them.

God Bless You

Some of my family and friends told me the same thing shorthly after my husband passed. It has been 1 year and 4 months for me. I have no children. And at times I want to date then other times I feel as though it would be cheating on my husband. But I know thats not true. But it feels that way. I just want a friend to do as my husband did and hold me and tell me everything will be okay. God will get us through and send us someone else if that is his will. I will be praying for you.

I think familly menbers and friends just need to MYOB. This is OUR life and OUR grief. If you date, it will be in your own time. You may never decide to date. That again will be your choice. I have 5 kids and I do not date. Like you, kids cone first.

Maggie

You seem to be telling yourself something in this message -
1) Other people are telling you stuff - you are not sure how you feel about it...
2) You do kinda want to get out there but....
3) You still are not sure its what you want as you still are in that missing my husband stage enough to be hesitant...

I think You are testing your feelings and you may find a good situation where meeting some one else gives you that first step
You will know...
I wish you and your little girl the best...you sound very wise in your thought process...trust your intuition...

I am at three years too and I feel much like you. I did have a date when it was a little over a year. Now that was much too soon. I wasn't ready. Right now i am kinda playing the wait and see game. i don't want a repeat of the first date I had. If you feel ready you don't need anyone's permission to date. Your husband would understand. The only thing i know if I meet someone I plan on taking it slow and getting to know this new person. Tell your friends to butt out that you will date when you want to. Hugs, Chris

People tell me often go find someone. They mean well but just do not get it. I have had three women at work ask me out and and I had said no.

At a little over 1 year I really miss the company of a woman. Not even the romance just the being together and doing things. I even miss spending endless hours at the mall looking at clothes and shoes. (I mean it too!!)

I think when the time is right it will happen for all of us. I am so board with my own company but I do not think I would make much of a date yet. It probably will happen but I will not rust it and when the time is right I think I will just know it.
jeff

Dating is a very personal decision and I think you are wise not to rush into it. I believe, at least for me, I had to figure out who I was before I could be something to another person. I spent many years as wife, mother and too many opinions by others wbo wanted to fix me.

There's nothing wrong with dating or remaining independent. In fact, both have advantages. Do what makes you feel is right, subject to change. It's your life. Sharon

You just ignore what you don't want to hear or deal with. Live your life the best way you can and when you are ready to love again you will know it. Don't let anybody push you to do something you are not ready for. There is nothing rewarding in doing things because society expects us to not because we feel it in our hearts. There is nothing wrong with you focusing on caring and nurturing your daughter for now. Blessings! Connie

I lost my first husband at 41 and had kids 14, 15, & 17. I had no interest in dating, etc. After 8 years when the kids were all in college or out on their own I decided I was ready. With my next husband for 17 years - married for almost 2 when he died October 2011. Since I am 66 now I don't think I want to wait 8 years, so I am thinking about moving on. This decision is something that you have to make in your own time.

Hugs, Valerie

Your family and friends just want you happy. It's hard to get it through to them, that it's not the time you have been a widow, it's the love you still feel for him. It's different for all people. With a small child to take care of, you are perfectly right in waiting. It's your time table and no one else.
Good Luck,
Paula