Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Nicker07 04/03/2011

Went to get milk/lotto tickets last eve. Decided to go in get a hamburger & met some old friends where I used to live. They came there to listen to a friend who was doing some cowboy poetry & songs. They invited me to sit w/them I stayed til 10:30 pm & really really had some laughs

This morning I reflected on how this is the first time I laughed so much, yeah a few chuckles over stuff here and there but last night really laughed but this am feeling sad. I think its because I want those times back, and more of them and realized how much I missed it. I so wished my heart attack was not so bad I c/get up and find places to laugh more.
And had things settled where I w/feel ok about all to do so.
Has anyone else felt the same way, I honestly do not feel guilt about it tho'

She and her husband sounded very happy to be welcomed up here to come and go riding with me. I offered them a bed & corrals to put horses as we live where trails are close.

deauxgirl 04/03/2011

I think it means you are getting better. You want to out amongest the living again. There should be no guilt at all for having fun and laughing. I think we all want that. We all have to find our way to the goal.
Paula

deleted_user 04/03/2011

I do sometimes have a let down feeling after having a good time. I don't feel guilty but I feel sad he wasn't here to have the fun with me.

lovelos 04/03/2011

Nicker, I think that is what we all want eventually. To be able to laugh again and have some joy in our life. I am happy for you that you had a good time and hope you have many more in your life, Lu Ann

deleted_user 04/03/2011

Congratulations for getting out there...where the people are...laughter is good for the spirit :)

((((hugs)))

Carla

deleted_user 04/03/2011

I find the guilt absolutely debilitating. The second I feel one ounce better, guilt knee caps me and makes me feel worse than I did before. Haven't figured out how to quiet this urge yet, but I'm looking into meditation. It helped my wife during her 10 month hospital stay, maybe it will help me. Amongst her ample items left behind was a book. "The complete idiot's guide to meditation." Skipped the first thirty pages or so which tried to sell me on the idea of meditation ("I'm reading the book already!") but haven't gotten too far. A busy mind has always been my problem.

Back in the early 2000's when the job market was bad, especially for tech jobs, I remember I had an operation scheduled (cyst removal, but put under) and the only day I could get a job interview was that day before the operation. My mind would not shut up all night and I got literally not a minute of sleep. Went on the interview, and had a successful operation.

And I should have gotten the job too, but she got hung up on one little thing and back in those days, you had 100 people to chose from.

Wish that's all I had to worry about now.

rosyfern 04/04/2011

I am beginning to wake up and feel again. It is so strange. Feelings, sometimes I don't even remember. Laughing with friends is so fine for you. Please enjoy. It has been so long since I have really alive I barely recall what it used to be like.

deleted_user 04/04/2011

Oh yes, I have had the same feeling...........it was so sad because I wanted to come home and share the fun with Norm, and remembered all the fun we had together..............I didn't feel guilty....just sad..............I know laughter is good medicine and guess we start out with small doses............will be glad when the bellylaughs return...........I am cerainly geting the belly part ....lolol
Lori

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