Last night I had just finished preparing dinner for one and was dishing up when I had an almighty emotional crash. The truth of your situation comes rushing at you and hits you square in the face. I crumbled onto the floor and cried uncontrollably, real sobbing - I haven't had such a huge hit like that for a while. I cry most days, but last night was different. I think our brains defence mechanism is to push the reality to the back and every now and again, something brings it right to the front and we can't ignore it. It was a Friday night, a night we always enjoyed just chilling out after a week at work, normally spent watching rubbish on TV curled up on the sofa - bliss.
Last night I realised she wasn't here and i had lost so much. We'll get through, tomorrow we brush ourselves down and we get on, its what we do now. Best wishes and hugs to all. xx

SandyV1 hit the nail on the head for me when she said that her husband "isn't at the end of the phone."

I used to call Sam for every little thing, even if I really didn't need his input. I just wanted to talk to him. Now there's no one there.

Yes, out of the blue the wind is sucked out of me!
Blessings, Doreen

Yes, it happens to all of us I think. It is worst at the times when we had our "rituals". Every night for the last two years I called my husband and chatted with him on my way home, we'd talk about our days and what the kids were doing and what was for dinner only hanging up when I drove up in the driveway. Every evening sitting together watching tv and going to bed together. It hits me so hard that it leaves me gasping. It has lessened somewhat but there are times when it just gob smacks me and the pain is so fresh, just like when he passed. I have to cry, I don't have a choice. If I bottle it up it's not good so I cry.

Yes, three and a half years out and there is much less pain, - but everynow and then it bites right into me. Thanks for others who understand

Yup me too, but after 4 years it does fade. I can go days without feeling that horrible grief, then a trigger (song on the radio) and tears start up again.

oh yes, especially sitting home alone on a Saturday night. There is a concert down in town, but I was having the hardest time trying to decide what to do - just really don't feel like going out. I actually fine myself walking through the house sometimes saying "Rick, where are you?". Reading all your posts has me crying now so maybe sometimes we just need to stay home and feel our feelings instead of "doing" all the time. I'm taking care of a cat and my pet client has this on the wall "Happiness is largely where you place your attention". I thought that was very interesting and true. Lesley

WendyWillow-I went for the first three months refusing to listen to the radio. If I did something would trigger and I would burst into tears. I don't listen to the radio much now but I have started listening to my WOW cd's recently. There are a few songs that I have to switch, can't listen to them, but I am enjoying listening to music again.

Almost two and a half years for me I can think I can see the light at the end of the tunnel when out of the blue a small thing can trigger the grief of losing my husband and I am in floods

just had a night like that. i went to the cemetery which I don't do very often. Just seeing his name on the marker broke my heart. Then just a minute ago I pulled up my profile to check something and seeing his face there and the words that he is gone slapped me in the face. I just can't make myself accept/believe/understand that he is actually gone forever. But once in a while it creeps into my existence that this is really happening.

Sandi,
This happens to me regularly! Just before I logged on tonight to DS, I sat down in Paul's recliner & it hit me that he'll never sit here again, he's really gone.
Janine

Sandi,
21 months.. I'm doing pretty well! Then BOOM! I want to do one .. of all of the things everyone mentioned! Tell him something, hear a song, call him, ask him a question, buy something he likes, on and on.
It's so hard. You are not alone.
Maureen

oh yes, this happens to me everyday. It doesn't matter where I am, at work, in the car, at the store.......it happens & I just break down crying. I have never cried so much in my entire life since Mike passed
Hugs to you

Happens to me several times a day - I miss Dave so very much.