I too have some experience in these matters. I'm 59 now, started dating my wife at age 25, we married when I was 27, and spent 30 happy years together with a few downturns life threw at us. But we were committed, and that got us through some rough patches. And your exactly right as to the casual non-committal approach by some these days. However, this is a different world I find myself being a bachelor in today. I'm not sure what happened to the old way of falling in love first. Stick to your morals, because that is the one thing you can control. You just can't overcome the casual sex attitude out there today. From this man's perspective, and I've dated a number of women here in the Northwest over the past year, the hookup attitude exists but only in a 3 women I've dated. Hell, I didn't even know what hookup really meant until one explained it to me. And it did shock me. I've run the gambit of dating, including a marriage that lasted only 8 days and ended with my having to get a restraining order. What I've come to realize only recently is that I get along just fine alone, thank you very much. The prospect of dying all alone with absolutely no family no longer concerns me. While I hope to someday find another true love, the prospect of spending the rest of days single is actually appealing to me. Sure, I'll keep dating. I enjoy the company of a good woman and I enjoy doing many things that terrorized my homebody wife. But in our fractured state, our emotions stunt our better judgment, at least it has mine. I think most women are pretty in tune with the "get in your pants" attitude," and if that's not your cup of tea, dump the jerk. All that being said, I've been able to meet some remarkable women and have had some really fun adventure filled dates. But as of yet, not a one holds a candle to what my wife Juanita and I had together. We didn't have to do a thing but be together in love. That filled the bill for both of us. And I know I was the luckiest man on earth to have such a wonderful, patient, loving woman as my wife Juanita joined to me and me to her. I've come to realize that I am most likely a very difficult and annoying person in the eyes of most. She is the only person in my entire life that was able to see past my many flaws only because she knew my heart. Any relationship, give it much time because eventually a person's true colors will surface. And you want to sure you weren't blinded by the loneliness that works hand in hand with your grief before making any commitment. Be true to yourself, no matter how suck-ass you may feel. ~~~ Scottie