I have one friend in particular who has stuck by me since my husband died - my daughter's Godfather. Since Jan, I have invited him and his wife for dinner 3 times - he couldn't come the last time for my dtr's b-day. I was a little disappointed he didn't show an interest in coming another time since he is her Godfather- but oh well. I have called him several times - I think he called once. He is someone who is ALWAYS busy - talks all the time about "we'll do this or that" - but never comes up with a date bc he has so many other friends.

So - yesterday I was upset - he sent an email saying I was withdrawn and had distanced myself from him. I wrote back (was real nice - did not say - I've been calling you - you haven't called me - apologized if I gave that impression - even tho it wasn't true). Anyway - today he sent me another email - trying to smooth things over - but actually made it worse - altho won't let him know that. He had invited me to a superbowl party at friends in Jan - 3 brothers had muscular dystrophy. I mention that bc they were in wheelchairs & didn't have as many chairs at the tables for the wheelchairs. So - when I got my food I sat on the couch bc there was no place at the table - other people later sat there too. But he wrote to say I did not appear to be having a good time and was sitting alone most of the time, etc. I don't recall ever sitting alone the entire time. Three mos ago we went to their house again. I was the one who brought the game that we played and everyone seemed to have a good time. So - why is he bringing up the visit from Jan - what about the most recent one?

But now I'm more upset than before - not only bc of his opinion - but he said one of the hosts was concerned too. Gee - it was the first party I'd been invited to without my husband (yeah it's been a while - but no one is inviting me) and everyone there was married except me - so I'm really going to be the life of the party? He hasn't called since this most recent "Party" - instead of "distancing" himself from me - couldn't he ask if he thought there was something wrong? How about the fact that I work 7 days a week - standing most of the time and have had plantar fascitis on my foot and don't want to stand or walk at the party?

Several times he has mentioned to me that he can't understand why I would want to see or communicate online with other people who have lost their husband/wife. Didn't think I should go to the two get-togethers from DS. His comment was something like "I don't understand why you would want to be around people who are not happy who might bring you down".

My response was "that's the whole point, you don't understand." Maybe I should point this out to him again.