Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
And swept me off my feet. " With our husbands/wives our lives had a particular purpose and direction. Now free - within the bounds of our abiliites & resources - to do anything, live anywhere, act in any way. But its a freedom we despise, we did not want, & frightens us.
From Seven Choices - I went to this section about this time period & first anniversary.
One section addressed relapses at ~the 9 months period & why. It says you are suddenly feeling somewhat ok about starting life a new at this period but you find you are going back to the same old empty house and pattern of life that was no different. Its when you realize you have to make new patterns for your life - it says while it seems you are back to square one - you are not are you are now stronger. To think of it as new veins for your blood to flow to make you healthy again. Their deaths altered everything that mattered to us, - the absence of what was necessary or a constraint in choice or actions in what we did - now confronts us. We alone are now in charge and responsible for our lives and what choices to make... We can not do anything about what happened but accepting that power about our future we make choices that best serve us.
This was powerful to me, hope it was for others.
From Seven Choices - I went to this section about this time period & first anniversary.
One section addressed relapses at ~the 9 months period & why. It says you are suddenly feeling somewhat ok about starting life a new at this period but you find you are going back to the same old empty house and pattern of life that was no different. Its when you realize you have to make new patterns for your life - it says while it seems you are back to square one - you are not are you are now stronger. To think of it as new veins for your blood to flow to make you healthy again. Their deaths altered everything that mattered to us, - the absence of what was necessary or a constraint in choice or actions in what we did - now confronts us. We alone are now in charge and responsible for our lives and what choices to make... We can not do anything about what happened but accepting that power about our future we make choices that best serve us.
This was powerful to me, hope it was for others.
this freedom, I too am trying really trying, but it comes back and slaps
us in the face and it's terrible, the emotion is so raw.... and I don't want it to keep happening over and over, I am blessed I am grateful I do
try to look on the bright side , but boy some says you just can't .... it's overwhelming to do everything, take care of everything alone....
It's funny, in a way the freedom that comes with being alone can feel liberating. On the other hand - most days I don't even know what to do with all that freedom. Yes, I have lot's of choices, but without someone to share them with, they don't always seem that great. I would give up every choice I have right now, just to have Jim by my side.
Baby steps......
I am at 14 months and the freedom I feel is there but many time it does feel as though I haven't progressed any. As others have said here, I don't want that freedom. Never wanted it when she was with me and have no idea what to do with it now.
Peace to you,
Dave