Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

3,758 Members

19,465 Posts

0 Online

NewRoadsForMe 05/22/2011

Does anyone remember that song? I can't remember all the words, but I have always loved the song. As I think of Joe's and my time together, this is the song that I think of. Our marriage was the 2nd for both of us, so we started off later in life (late forties). We both worked and planned and saved and sacrificed for our retirement when we could totally enjoy each other, travel, and have fun after a lifetime of working. We each worked more than 40 years and just when Joe turned 66 (full S.S. benefit age), he died of lung cancer. We had envisioned maybe 15 or 20 years of reward of being together fulltime, but it was not to be. Now I see retired couples riding down the highway with their nice motorhomes, headed somewhere fun. I see old couples eating together in restaurants, smiling and sharing whatever. I see old couples leaving an event together at night, headed home together.

Well, Joe, didn't we almost have it all? Yep, we sure did, but it was not to be to the finish line. See you again one day. But until then, your ring remains on my hand and your love in my heart, as I come home alone in the dark at night, as I wake to a quiet house, and when I see something beautiful I can only tell myself about it.

Didn't we almost have it all........?

swindy 05/23/2011

We did have it all but it was cut short and what makes me sad is hearing other older couples fuss and argue. I just want to shout at them to stop it and cherish what they still have. Diane

deleted_user 05/23/2011

that song is so true.so very true. We also met late in life, both in our 50's...we had so many plans, mostly just growing old together, and watching our families and grandkids grow......i feel robed that we didnt get to do that. But on the other hand, while he was here, and while we were together, we did have it all...we did. We finally found each other, we finally had our dream come true life..the one we both had dreamed about....we had been married, just shy one month of only 5years, and only known each other for 9....but during that time, we had it all...we loved like we had never, ever loved before....it was beautiful....and i wouldnt trade one moment for anything...ever......bless you all...thank you for sharing.

gone2soon 05/23/2011

Eight months today for me. Both of us had been married before. When we met we just knew it was meant to be. It was like it was our destiny to be together. We met late in life also and planned on him retiring and him wanting me to also so we could do a lot of things together. We were together about eight years but married 3 1/2 years before he passed and we thought we had time together also. We had so many things planned. We thought we had time together. But the time we did have I wouldn't trade for anything. Yes that song rings very true to me also. Today is really a hard day for me.

deleted_user 05/23/2011

Go on Youtube and type in Whitney Housten''s Didn't We Almost Have it All... and you will get the words and the song- Beautiful! We have to all remember that we had a great love and no one can take that away!!!!

I too, envisioned 10-15 yrs at least of retirement fun- We even talked of renting an RV and touring the country, but it was not to be- My beloved was taken by cancer in his last year of teaching at 69 yrs of age. However we had traveled a bit together in summers, thank God for that- to Glacier Park, Yellowstone, Sequoia, the Everglades,and a few others.I am so glad that i insisted on doing that after he was diagnosed with CLL in 1998!!!
LizzieMAc

deleted_user 05/23/2011

Yes I remember the song but hadn't thought of it until now. It is so fitting. Like you Bill and I were together 41 years, paid everything off, both retired and had out bucket list of fun things to do....Life was going to be great. Then we found out he had 4th stage cancer and in 5 weeks he was gone. We never got to do anything on our list. Retirement was radiation treatments, MRI, CAT scans and chemo. I too am so envious of other couples enjoying their retirement and each other. My Billy was so young and in shape...we never saw it coming....

Wmsbaby 05/23/2011

I too like to think we had it all. After all we loved each other and truely enjoyed each other's company. Many couples can't say that. We had it all but it was over way too soon. We were going to celebrate our 20th anniversary this year by going back to Lake Tahoe where we spent our honeymoon. I also look at others couple and think why couldn't that be us? But you know what? They may not be as happy as we were. I'll just keep my memories.

deleted_user 05/24/2011

My husband had about a year and a half of retirement. He worked 45 years at the same company. I am not working right now. We were really loooking frward to the summer to be able to spend at our lake house. Now I could care less if I ever went back.

songsofthenight 05/28/2011

think all of us almost had it all....I looked up the song for you. here it is.....

Didn't We Almost Have It All

Remember when we held on in the rain
The night we almost lost it
Once again we can take the night into tomorrow
Living on feelings
Touching you I feel it all again

Didnt we almost have it all
When love was all we had worth giving?
The ride with you was worth the fall my friend
Loving you makes life worth living
Didnt we almost have it all
The night we held on till the morning
You know youll never love that way again
Didnt we almost have it all

The way you used to touch me felt so fine
We kept our hearts together down the line
A moment in the soul can last forever
Comfort and keep us
Help me bring the feeling back again

Didnt we almost have it all
When love was all we had worth giving?
The ride with you was worth the fall my friend
Loving you makes life worth living
Didnt we almost have it all
The night we held on till the morning
You know youll never love that way again
Didnt we almost have it all

Didnt we have the beat of times
When love was young and new?
Couldnt we reach inside and find
The world of me and you?
Well never lose it again
Cause once you know what love is
You never let it end

Didnt we almost have it all
When love was all we had worth giving?
The ride with you was worth the fall my friend
Loving you makes life worth living
Didnt we almost have it all
The night we held on till the morning
You know youll never love that way again
Didnt we almost have it all

deleted_user 05/28/2011

This line in a song gives me comfort:

"Don't cry, young lovers, whatever you do. I once had a love like you!"

So many don't have the blessings of a good husband. His Dad lived till 88 yrs and my dad to 89 yrs. I thought it was in the genes but not to be.

lovelos 05/28/2011

We sure did almost have it all. Working all of our lives until retirement and then it gets taken away from us just before our retirement starts. I do look at the many happy couples and I long for the day that I am not jealous when I see them. I know it is wrong and I don`t like feeling the way I do because inside I am happy for them but so sad it isn`t me or many of us on this site that had our husbands and wives taken away way too soon. Thinking of you and sending you hugs, Lu Ann

Join the Conversation