Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
I"m so ready to go be with my husband, I just don't want to be here without him! I am not new to this journey! Clothing picked out, hymns picked... Be Not Afraid! Eagles Wings! Going Home! The loneliness is killing me ... but that's to slow. So I'm just speeding up the process!
You need to reach out to others, in groups and organizations or church.
Did you know that there are others that are in the same predicament as you? There are people who are just as lonely and hurting just as much as you.
There's a woman at the hospital that's just lost her husband. There's probably a man nearby who's lost a wife and a child in the past year.
These are people who are desperate need. They'll never know your kindness, of which I can speak of first hand, and your love and compassion. All of that will go away if you die. Nobody will have known your loving nature and capability.
I know you're hurting now. The way out of pain is the way into someone else's.
Where there is life, there is hope. I understand your drive to suicide...I get that. But had I acted on my plans, just four years ago, or on my iimpulses from day to day sometimes, I would have never gotten to know you and warmth you deliver.
You're dependable and that speaks highly for your character.
I'd give you a big grizzly bear hug if I were there.
Hugs to you. John.
All of us in this group have had the same thought, and believe me , I have had that in my mind for the first 2 mos.
I just wanted to be with my wife so bad and I still want , but every time I thought about that false door , I remembered that God gave me life and He is the only one who can take it, and besides if I did it ( speed the process) I would NEVER SEE HER AGAIN.
Peace, love and strenght to you.
Hector
Just dang it dang it dang it dang it dang it dang it dang it Only because cussing is wrong
I do not want you to go yet. I am sure there are others in your immediate life that feel the same way. I know they are not comforting you right now nor are they there to end that LONELY thing. You could come over to my house and help me bang out my wall, my cupboards, my shower but again once its over that dang Lonely comes on. Wish I knew what to say to stop it, I hate that word and feeling. I actually while burning a pile of the junk stuff wrote on one of the boards LONELY than burnt it. It helped for the moment, than I went down to local little restuarant had a good lunch, talked to locals there but that night I was too tired for LONELY than next morning the dang thing was back.
In my case no organizations close anywhere, the little church here is no judgemental to people ICK ICKY BUT my one friend paid yes paid for me to belong to LIONS club so oh well its one little step and they will put me to work no doubt.
MORAL of all this rambling: Kick LONELY any way you can, you have to find it in you to do. AND you can in small increments do it.
OH the offer to have you come and help still stands....
I have to share this with you: while at my friend Roses who husband was just killed in horse accident last Sat. A person said when Rose said I just do not know how I will go on: Did you love him, really love him, and do you believe he loved you? It musta been love to be together for 41 yrs and he never wanted it to be over so that is what makes you go on, what his love always wanted for you is what makes you go on.
Right now, there are many people out there who are ill and faced with death. They would do anything to live and they don't have a choice. We do have a choice.
Don't give up on life, there are so many reasons to keep living. Out pain will get better with time. Please remember that there are so many people on this board who care about you. For our sake and your own, don't give up on your life. Judith
So, I know that's hard and we've all be there. Stand back and think what would your loved one want from you. He would want you to move forward and be the Great people that you can be.
Hugs, Carla
A Sufi master once said: "If you think your work in life is finished and you are still alive, it isn't."
Hugs,
Amy
I am not afraid to live at this point in my journey, and I am not afraid to die. The only difference is that I am aware it is not my time and my responsibility is to make the most of my life while I am here.
In the early months after my loss, all I wanted to do was be with my husband. And, yes, there was an easy way out. However, I was made aware of the consequences if I did so. No. 1, my plan may not be successful and I would remain alive with disabilities and/or lasting complications. No. 2, I would be meeting my family, which would be very dissapointed in my decision. They are all very aware of the strong core within me.
insecure, I don't like being here without my husband either, but we basically have two choices -- live or die. I am in total agreement with Reply #1 from Tigerpaws.
God has a reason for all of us to still be here. When HE is ready for us, HE will call us home. Until then, living is the only way! Otherwise, you probably will NEVER see your husband again ~~ cause you probably won't be in the same place. Just saying........