Dear Truhal,
Finding a church that fits you is hard----having the one you think would be just right, but have sad memories attached to it is making it all the more difficult. I have no good advice---I'm at this place in my life where I don't attend a church through choice right now. I am a Christian, but have labelled myself as a "questioning" Christian. I hope others will have some possible solutions for you----I just wanted you to know I was listening.
With caring, Sal

I am currently attending the church that my husband and I were members of. He loved that church and at first it was really hard for me to go there alone but I made myself go. I would sit in the back near an exit and when I felt the need to leave I did or just walked out for a short while then went back in. Some services I was out more than in but now I can sit all the way through a service. I talked with the pastor about this and he totally understood. He has visited me at home and counseled me along with several widows in the congregation who have years of widowhood. They mentor me and know what I am going through. I know this may be hard but I think you should try this church that you and your husband liked. It will be extremely hard at first but once you get beyond that you will find so much support and comfort there that it will be worth it. Please consider giving it a try. Hugs to you and I am here if you need someone to talk to about this - Gail

Truhal, I didn`t go to church for several months after Larry died. When my dad was dying seven years ago I promised him I would look after mom and I would take her to church every week. I was feeling I let my mom down but she understood that I just wasn`t ready. When I decided to go back we sat at the back and I started crying for several weeks and left during the service. It has gotten better but some days I just get emotional and leave. If you want to try this church again, its okay to leave if you are not ready.....the first time is definately the hardest. Hugs,
Lu Ann

I know exactly how you feel. My hubby has been gone 19 months now and there are several of his favorite places that cannot bring myself to go . I did break the ice and come to Florida (one of his favorite places) this year but I can't say that it has been easy. I am hoping to go to Las Vegas with the group here in June and that was another place that he liked to go so if I survive this trip I hope to give it a try. In your situation I don't think I would be able to go to that church either. Diane

I can relate to how you feel. I have not been able to go back to the church we attended at all. I have visited others but even that shakes me up--so I haven't found another church to make my own yet. There are just some places that bring back such vivid memories that I can't deal with them yet. I hope some day I am at the place that the vivid memories are sweet and joyful rather than sad. Hugs

hello i have no answer but this is where i am me and wife was members church i stop going because i did not want to cry all day on sunday me and her used to sing up front on sunday so I tryed going from church to church so I would not cry all day but that was not the answerI still cry so I had to stop runing I still can not open a song book at church with out crying so I went back to my church when they sing I close my eyes to keep from crying but I still cry not as much so now i have to sing to god in my head they ask me to sing up front I say no because I can't with out crying so I don't but I can and will one day by the grace of god when it is time I know one day I will go where their no tears to dim the eyes

For 2 years I tried and tried to decide what to do about our church. We were one of the few older couples in the church, as it is mostly filled with young adults, single and married. It was fine as long as I was a "couple". But when I became a solo person, I didn't feel at home anymore, although everyone was warm and caring to me. It took me the 2 yrs to decide that I need to nurture ME, one person. I looked at my options and decided to join a church of the same denomination but closer to my home and full of people my age as well as the younger ones. They are VERY active, very welcoming. I never show up at any event but that some people come right over and start talking with me. I feel at home here now. I certainly wish you the same, but there's no rush to make a decision. You'll know when the right time is to make a decision. Until then, maybe visit around and don't feel bad sitting on the back pew!! Best wishes to you in your search for meaning and a new normal.

I truly believe God understands.

When attending church feels right maybe finding the right one will click and fill your heart with good things.

hello I just want to cry i got a call to day that made me fill so love and care about my church call to come eat 8am in the morning with them it touch me very hard i fill like god told someone they really need to help pick me up and it did all i can say is thank you god AMEN GOD KNOW HOT TO GET TO YOUR HEART I MAY CRY LIKE A BABY BUT IT HELPE KEEP ME HOLDING I JUST THANK YOU ALL TO FOR BEING SO MUCH SUPPORT

I to think that God understands. I think he is looking out for us all.

I found it hard to do to anyplace we went together. I swithced grocery stores even. It made me sad to go to our old one so I had to change. This seems silly to me as it is farther away but it worked. I would get too emotional in the old food store I had to switch. I now can shop and get it done without the emotions I had before. Same things with resturants. The old ones were no fun and not the same to me anymore.

I have wanted to go to chuch but I am not ready to yet. I do not think I could go back to where we went together. If I make it back I think, after reading your story, I would try a new place as the old memories would interfear with my reasons for bing there.

Dear Truhal,
Sometimes we may think we are meant to go to a church or we are supposed to keep going to a church but we may not realize that God had plans for us to learn from one Church and go on to another and get more of His Wisdom and Knowledge that he wants to us know.
I will pray for God to send you a earthly angel to invite you to their Church.
I say this because I was struggling with the church that I was going to and i prayed to God to send me to the right one that will help me grow and work for Him in that Church.
Here is a prayer for you to say,

Dear Lord God, I praise your Holy name, you know my heart Lord, you know I want to praise You in a church that I feel Your Love.

Please send me to the One that You have planned for me, so I can do Your work You have planned for me.
I ask this in Jesus name,
Amen

Ask & You shall receive.
Hugs,
Judy

this morning a lady ask me to come back up front and help singshe knows that Istop because me and wife use to sing after she passed i could not alli did was cry she told me I need to try if I could not TO GO SIT DOWN OR JUST STAND THEREBUY TILL I FACE IT I WOULD NOT HEAL I MUST TAKE 1 STEP AT A TIMETO GET BETTER SO I DID STILL COULD LOOK AT SONG BOOK COULD NOT OPEN EYES BUT YES I DID SING AND FILL GOOD BUT TEARS STILL COME OUT