Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Death & Dying
/ Widows & Widowers Support Group

Permission to Let Go....

tpoulos
tpoulos
How they went about their business, the dying.They knew we were there. They loved us. But their eyes were already on another landscape, and we saw them pulling away. Now they are gone, do we feel abandoned ? No reason to. They love us still. They have reached a destination.
Do we need their permission to let them go ?
Surely they gave us that in dying.....
tpoulos
tpoulos
jerseydebbie....My Jim fought until his last breathe, he too did not
want to die or leave me , he never talked about dying for he thought
he was going to be a miracle and cancer was not going to kill him
he was going to kill the cancer, (his words) , it didn't happen that way.
He is my Angel 24/7 I feel is presence I feel his love, I miss him, I too
am content because I have to be....Happy now and then ....sad more
than I want to be.. through 16 months of therapy I've learned to LET
GO of what was not meant to be....growing old and enjoying retirement
with my husband.....I was only 47 when Jim passed away..
edithbathgate
edithbathgate
My James died very suddenly at age 57 on Dec 16, 2010. I have no way of going on without him. I live for the day we can be together again. Until then I want to be reasonable useful and enjoy what I can. He always closed his conversations with me by saying "Always." I'm holding him to it.
Nicker07
Nicker07
I love that word content it gives me hope

I know I need to find what that content is for me,

@edith - Reasonable useful and enjoy what I can -

Gosh I have found some things that just have me really thinking today, and they have given me some good thoughts.
FOR this I thank you very much...
Wmsbaby
Wmsbaby
My husband also thought he would be the miracle. It was actually the chemo that killed him not the cancer. We did have a year more than the doctors gave him. We never once thought he wouldn't beat it. So I was shocked when it happened. I see now that I was in denial or just being naive. I am 45. I geuss I am the odd one out this time. it has been six months and I have no intention of doing anything but waiting my time out. At this time I am resigned to the isolation and pain. The phone calls have stopped and it is just me...sigh.. Oh well I just have to play the hand life dealt me.