Yes, your body and mind and spirit has gone thru a terrible shock. What you are describing is pretty normal reactions to the death of your husband of 50 years. Mine died in Oct. we were together 33 years. I lost a tremendous amount of weight and the doctor told me to start eating baby food because I had to eat something. So I did. When I starting taking better care of myself I began to feel better. I will never feel like I use to because I will never be the same person I was and neither will you. I choose to take no drugs because I knew that I had to go thru the pain if I was to ever going to heal. Baby steps. Get out of the house, I go to movies and a support group at our local hospice. Perhaps there is a support group that you could join. I know you might not believe this but, it does get better......it will never be the same.....different. Peace. Colleen

oh yes, my heart ached so bad, everything hurt. Losing your partner is a painful event and a shock to your system. I would also get upset stomach. Its been 6 months, don't cry as much. However I know I will always be aware he is gone. I am learning just how much he did, so difficult trying to do it all alone. And the talks and sharing. I find doing for others helps, kids, nursing home, always comes back and blesses me. I am doing bingo at a nursing home tomorrow. I have not a lot of energy either. Your body and mind have to adjust, this will take time. I chose no meds. Church and church family helps a lot. This site you will love. God bless, and big hugs

Replies #1 and #2 are very good and thoughtful suggestions. The first year of grief - especially the first months -is an extremely hard time. I also was married 50 yrs. My husband died of leukemia over 5 yrs. ago. For your own benefit, accept your neighbors offers of support. Please accept at least 1 invitation for lunch per week. I didn't want to go either, didn't feel like making an effort - but the only way to ever heal is to begin doing small positive things to help yourself. I would say more drugs won't help -- just the blessings of the good Lord, time, friends, & family. I know you love your pet, but PEOPLE and their concern and interest in your is very important. When you go to lunch, ask about their day, their ailments, their plans -- even if you don't care about the answers. Try to think of 3 positive things in your life each day, such as: home, car, good neighbors, love of family, God's love, etc. etc. Write these down and repeat them to yourself - be grateful. This is a good way to put positive thoughts above all the misery going through your mind. DS is a very caring place - and I hope you receive much encouragement here.
Wishing you peace - Doye

Oh Lyzbeth, I am so sorry for your loss of your precious husband. My husband died on March 9th and know that grief brought me to my knees. I spent the first week alone, isolated, weeping. Did not want company or to see anyone. I decided after that to get back out in the world and do my volunteer work, meet friends, and get back to a normal routine. I forced myself and cried at times and that was okay. If people didn't understand, that was their problem. Never found anyone who didn't give me a hug at the time or acted too strangely. I joined three support groups so I can now pick and choose each week what my needs will be so I know support is only a day or two away, plus this website helps so very much. I did not want drugs so went cold turkey. My husband was my world, no family to close by, and I miss my husband every day. Yes, take baby steps...eat, take care of your health, walk your dog, and cry. You are so entitled to cry losing the most precious love in your life. We are all here for you.

Yes, that's just what its like in the beginning. I was married 40 yrs, its been 2 1/2 yrs since he's been gone and some days are still bad. I cried everyday for just over 2 yrs. It will get easier, it just takes time and lots of it.
Hugs,
JoAnn

I understand what your going through, this journey is overwhelming at times....I just find talking little steps the only way...one thing I found I must do was eat a little....I lost two stones in six weeks just before my darling Kate passed.... its only been six weeks, and like you I struggle to want to do anything..meeting people is so hard...I cry a lot, and so try to avoid people...
I understand your sadness friend...try to be kind to yourself..and when you have a tough day....well..there are no answers...
People on here care and understand...

Lawrence
Scotland UK

I am so sorry for your loss. What you are going through is typical, especially after such a long time together, and especially in the early weeks and months.

I think you should go back to your doctor - not for more drugs but for a referral for some counseling. It's also important for your doctor to know that your eating habits and such are radically changed as he/she is trying to help you find a balance with your medications. Do NOT stop taking your medications. That would only make your situation far worse.

We cope and heal in different ways. There is no single thing that does it - it usually takes lots of little things, and usually in baby steps, to try and find a balance again in our lives. I am sorry you have to do this, too, and also sorry your family is not close by to help.

I think you would probably benefit from a face-to-face support group as well as being here on DS. Your doctor can help you find one, or check with your church - they may have one.

As far as long-distance family, I keep in touch with my siblings by Skype calls and e-mails, as well as the usual cards, etc. You might want to consider setting up with Skype, or Google Hangouts, to do video calls. They are both free services. Just a thought....

I am sorry you needed to be here, but glad you were able to find this group. It helped me immensely after I lost my husband, and I hope it helps you, too. Welcome to the group.

Love and Hugs,
Martha

I'm sorry you're having to go through this too. I lost my husband 1 year ago this month after 41 years of marriage. Like you, I didn't have an appetite. I had to make myself eat not because I wanted to but because I knew I needed to. I just existed in name only. I didn't care about anything. It will get easier as time goes by. Just take one day at a time.

My sincerest sympathy goes out to you that is a long time with your dear hubby. As you read each of the responses that have been posted for you, we all have experienced some of the same things, it is reassuring and that we're not alone. My dear Don past on Mar. 6 , he was my soul mate we had 46 Blessed years together and it feels like someone cut my heart out, it is a Very lonely world without him. But as many have posted, do Baby Steps, which I do and everything crying, loss of appetite and loss of energy is normal and part of the Grieving process and we will get thru it one step at a time. Hang in there, we're all here, Peace and hugs to you. Phyl

i am so sorry for your loss. i am at 6 months and i can remember somone told me that at 3 months that pain in you chest will ease and fortunately for me at 3/12 months it did. i still cry and miss him terribly and i am still working at getting my energy back but you wont feel as bad as you do at 9 weeks forever. just do what and when you can. take care of yourself!! its a hard thing to work thru

Think your response is common to many of us............could not watch tv or even listen to music......................great shock, great love, great sorrow.....................improve but never be the same....that is the hard part................however, I was well loved and for that I am grateful................look forward to seeing him again. Reach out when you are ready..............
Lori

Lyzbeth - I think it's safe to say that we've ALL gone through this (or are going through it). Listen to what your body, mind and heart are telling you, and that's to do not so much right now. There's nothing wrong with this - It will change when you feel the strength to take baby steps. Marsha