Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
My Bob was a member of "The Poker Club" a group of guys that have been playing cards and fishing together for 30 years. Every other year they go to Canada fishing for a week. A few years ago when the first member passed away they took some of his ashes with them to spread in the lakes they fish in. Bob really liked that idea and said that he wanted to be in Canada with the guys also. So when he was cremated I had some of his ashes set aside for the club and the rest was buried at our local arsenel.
Well the time has come for me to has come for me to give them his ashes. And it is making me crazy to think of giving up the last of him. I know this is crazy, I know this is what he wanted and it isn't like I sit and hold his ashes but I know that they are there, tucked away in my bedroom. I know that I have to come to terms with this but I just don't know how. I can't not send him fishing one last time, he loved it so much. I just am not dealing with it very well.
Well the time has come for me to has come for me to give them his ashes. And it is making me crazy to think of giving up the last of him. I know this is crazy, I know this is what he wanted and it isn't like I sit and hold his ashes but I know that they are there, tucked away in my bedroom. I know that I have to come to terms with this but I just don't know how. I can't not send him fishing one last time, he loved it so much. I just am not dealing with it very well.
Cathy
I did much like yuo. At 6 months I took a trip to Northern Wi his favorite place on earth and at his favorite lake, released him with my kids to the waters he loved so much. It was the hardest, but the most rewarding thing I have EVER done.
Releasing him was PAINFUL...BUT watching him float away into the waters? there was a feeling of peace that I cannot and will never be able to really put into words. I have tried. there just aren't any. I could FEEL how happy he was to be where he needed to be. I know that every morning he wakes to the sunrises of Minocqua. He swims with the muskies he so wanted to catch in life, and he is where he needs to be.
I think of that time often now. And I am happy that HE is happy resting, swimming, and at peace.
It will be SOO hard, but I KNOW that that peace? Will envelope you and you will FEEL it. He wikll let you know he is happy. And you will be happy too, knwoing you DID this for him.
It is huge...vey huge. But you will do this, and be glad that you did.
HUGS of much understanding, and love, Diane