Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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One Month

reidit02
reidit02
Today makes one month since my wife passed away. It seems like it has been years. I am still going through each day feeling lost and unable to think of anything other than her. When I got home from work today I got in the shower and started thinking I would remove some of her things from the shower when I got done. The more I thought about it, the more upset I became. I was not able to remove anything. Maybe another day.

I was however able to wash her clothes that was in her hamper. Not sure if I will be able to take them out of the dryer and put them away. This pain I have in my heart is so unbearable at times. (most of the time).

I want to thank everyone who has sent me kind words and hugs. Like I have seen several people say here.. There is no way any one can know this pain unless you have been through it yourself. God bless you all

Scott
tiger1962
tiger1962
I removed a few things just after my wife passed. But I largely keep the house unchanged. It really doesn't matter to change or not at end of the day. Do whatever you feel comfortable at a speed you want. Nothing in life has prepared us for this...so you don't need to prepare for anything....just let things come and go at their own ways and speed. Take care of yourself. You will feel better. Hugs, tiger
AfterMom
AfterMom
Wow. at 1 month I was just in total zombie shock.
mikemiriam
mikemiriam
Scott, I feel the same I lost my wife not even a week ago it is hard your not alone and hope I will be able to get through this also. Reading all the kind words and support from other does help me. I have a long road ahead of me also and hope we all can lift each other up from time to time. Mike
wifeofjoe
wifeofjoe
At the one month I couldn't dream of even touching Joe's items. I did put some clothes and his soap into separate ziplock baggies. Didn't change the bedsheets for nearly 6 weeks. I had to buy new bedsheets just so I could change them.

I'm Now at 11 weeks today. I still haven't done his laundry. Can't bring myself to wash it yet because I know it will be the last time. His slippers are still at the front door. I know he's not going to need them, but the belong there. Some of his gadgets are still on a table in the living room where he left them.

I'm planning on making a quilt (or 2) out of his clothes.

I'm taking my time with his stuff. Although I understand I will have to sell some equipment sooner than later so I can move, I can wait on everything else. I can pack it all up and bring it with me.

Take your time.

Sheila
metwodogs
metwodogs
Scott, at one month I couldn't open my husband's closet it was just too painful. I'm at nine weeks, yesterday I put his shoes in it. That brought tears to my eyes, but I did it. I have decided I not going to worry about cleaning out his closet I will know when it is time. A pair of his shoes are still sitting in the family room and one of our dogs takes her afternoon nap beside of them. So, those will remain as long as she needs them to comfort her. It does get easier with time. Hugs, Jo
saleeby
saleeby
I am at a month and a half and I like metwodogs can quickly open his closet door and shove something in but to think of cleaning it out is beyond me. I did wash his close that were in the hamper a few weeks ago and cried my eyes out the whole time (I was in the laundromat so was quite a sight). One day at a time Scott that is all we can do. Don't try to take on more than you are able I am determined to do what works for me at my pace and no one elses and you should do the same.
debrus
debrus
It has been three months this week my husband passed and it is still hard. It will take a very long time and you need to grieve that is the hardest thing for me is to allow myself to grieve. I work full time so I grieve at night and on weekends and cry a lot. I felt like I was in a dream first two months that I think is normal. Take time and I will pray for you. It feels like my heart is broken in half so we do know how you are feeling and going thru.