Wow a very hard month for you! My husbands birthday was July 11th also. Just take one minute at a time. Those life time movies get me too so I started renting funny movies. Crying does help though! Big hugs!!!

I also have been thinking about "old normal" and the now "new normal". Last year at this time, I was recovering from a total knee replacement and my husband was tending to my needs. What a difference a year makes! I never dreamed that this year I would be a widow. I think we have tend to think that what we have will go on forever.
We share your pain. We all are developing a "new normal". Take care...Nancy

I hate it too. So far I have gone thru Tom's BD, father's day, memorial day, and now the 4th. I cannot wait to get them alll over with and maybe next yr will be a bit better. That will give us something to look forward to.
Hugs,
Pat

I so sympathize wityh you! It must be the holiday. I've been sitting here so sad thinking of all the firsts still to come. Rob loved the 4th of July and all the fireworks, cookouts and company. Instead, I'm trying desperately to get through the day with our kids (who are driving me CRAZY). Our 7 year anniversary is July 11 - I get anxious and sick to my stomach just thinking about it.

I told my oldest just now that never in a million years would I think my life would have turned out like this. I never would have imagined Rob to pass before he turned 41 leaving me heartbroken and alone.

Hoping & praying we all get through the tough days.
Pam

I'm spending the day sorting through mountains of paperwork trying to get a handle on what needs to be done, has been done, etc. What a crappy day!

One of the things that Paul and I used to do everyday, was to sit on the couch holding each other close and watch television. But since I lost him, I do not care to have a television in my own place.

I am sorry that this month is so full of sad milestones. Just do one at a time...that is all you can expect from yourself. Don't plan something unless you feel like it is right and you are okay with it.

The last few July 4th's (before last year) were so much fun for us too. We had such plans and thought we had all the time in the world.

Take it easy on you. The days will come and go, although for me it felt (and feels) like each was a lifetime of emptiness in between.

Hugs, Susan

There is no such thing as normal. Do not let anyone tell you that there is. When the bad times hit, we need to take care of us and do what ever allows us to cope with our feelings. I envy the closeness you two had, Donale. I am used to being alone. Sometimes I look at the calender and check how long it will be 'till Todd's unit comes back. Oh, wait......he won't be back. We all need a magic wand to make all of this go away. May we all find our wands. Kaaren

I can completely relate to the "old normal" and the "new normal". I don't know if it's the holiday weekend, my birthday coming up on the 6th or just the numbness wearing off and reality totally sinking in, but I've been so sad this past weekend. It's been 2 months yesterday that I lost Mark............and it's like my insides are being ripped out all over again. Not really sure why - but sure want to shake it, cuz I hate it too.
My Mom always used to tell me when I'd wish for time to go by fast that I was wishing my life away. Now I'm just wishing to get thru this pain. Hope today is a better day for you.........hugs to you,
Christine

Like Christine, I've been sad all weekend. Like Kaaren, I wish I had a magic wand...
Old Normal -I had to work. He'd spend a week or more in NC at his family reunion. Calling me on the cell phone. Telling me how good the food was, what new cousin he had just met.

Our Planned New Normal- I wasn't going to work this summer!!
I was going with him to the family reunion for the first time. Made plans in January. Couldn't wait!!!

New Reality- I spent the morning at the cemetery putting down new grass seed (again). Was invited to a barbeque with his friends. Thought of the couples. Didn't go.

Some of the new normal pass without much a-do but those firsts that hit you can knock you out and down for the count. Getting through the Fourth was a challenge and by the time I left I was starting to get pretty pissy to people...my last nerve was being used up. So often I'd look around at the large group and share my mental conversation with my husband, wondering if they get a peek at us from time to time. The lasts of before and the firsts of the new normal will pass slipping themselves into the seconds, perhaps the intensity lessens, but our new normal is marked buy the calendar that went into effect on the day of his/her death.

Oh If you had been in Wildwood I could have met you. I live about 2 miles away from the campground. Sorry, it sounds like you had such a good life and now, not so much. That's how I feel, it's just not so good, sometimes just plain lousey, sometimes more at peace but lonely to the bone. You have so many events coming up, it is going to be tough. I am sorry. Cyper Hug, Donna
PS If you do get to Wildwood let me know.

My wedding anniversary is coming up in two weeks. The second one to celebrate alone, without my beloved Richard.

This July is 32 years together. Richard was always so proud of telling anyone who would listen just how long we had been married. Never saw any man so excited and into the wedding plans and the actual day.

Every time I look at our wedding portrait, I tell him it was the best day of my life. My wedding band brings warmth to my soul, for I remember the day he put it there.

Seems like July is gonna be tough for many of us!! Our anniversary is the 19th, the 41st one, and Joe's bday is the 22, he would have been 61.
I would never have thought that he would be gone at 58. He was always healthy, at least seemingly so. Its very hard to understand how a man as busy as he stayed, not taking any medicines, could go so suddenly and so fast. Yes, I miss him, and this month is rather a bummer. Joely

I know what you mean. This July, my husband and I were planning to take our first vacation in 8 years. He'd already gotten approved for his vacation time at work and so had I. Now that date is coming up and it's hard. Of course, I canceled. Every moment would have been spent thinking of what could have been.