Yes this is hard. Good for you for getting it done. Curl up and cry--if you have to, you have to. Don't worry about what other people expect.

Ivy, you have to do what gets YOU thru the day, not what others expect. I read my husbands obit at least once a week and look at his pictures there....it is so painful and yet I cannot stop.

Today is another very dark day and I have been on the sofa wrapped up in his blanket most of it. The pain is so deep today.

Sending comforting thoughts to you....
Jen

A big hug to you, it is hard. Do what you need to to process the grief it is ok to feel bad

Ivy . . I was in such a state of shock when I placed the obit, I got half of it wrong! I didn't have a co-pilot to help guide. This is a huge "to-do" in the midst of grief. Give yourself a pat on the back, another accomplishment along this road. I agree with the previous posts, give yourself permission to curl up and cry now. It's okay. We are strong when we need to be, yet can allow ourselves to be vulnerable enough to cry when need be. You know what's best for your healing. Just remember . . . those tears are "healing tears". Nothing weak and nothing to be ashamed of. Sending lots of love and comfort your way. Hang in there my friend. It will get easier. Breathe. Hugs, Dayna

I didn't place the Obit, my children and husband's family did that.
I can imagine how difficult it is for you, I still can't bring myself to read,
my husband's.
I hope you are as ok as can be,
Hug.......Sandra

When my husband died, I worked with the funeral. director to prepare an obituary. The director told me when it would be put in the local paper and posted on the paper's website.

I remember getting up a 4 am and going to the website. There it was...along with his picture. At first I thought it would be upsetting (and it was) but then I saw it as the tribute to him that I wanted and that he deserved.

I wish you the best...

Some of my famiy were telling me to get the Obituary done on my husband. I needed a couple of days. He hadn't even been cremated yet.
I know it's hard for some to write the Obituary for their spouse.
The day i decided to do it, I just spoke about the man my husband was and what he accomplished, defeated and described his wit, caring ways and honesty. It came so easy for me. I could have gone on and on.
Then with he help of my family we picked a picture which was one of my favorites. He was younger then, but it expressed his personality.
So read your spouses Obit when you are ready. The pain is there now and reading might cause more pain or you might be glad it says something in particular.
Losing our loved ones is so hard. I know your pain. I had a major meltdown today listening to some music that brought back memories.
I wish I had the answers for us all, but all I know is it's a tough road with the ups and downs and stress and fear and the sadness cannot be described.
Take care. I hope you can get through your days just mini steps at a time. I have so many things to do, closets, drawers, office but i am not up to it yet. I don't know when I will be but I know i will have to eventually. It's like living in a different world now.

I, like Dayna, was in such shock that important things were left out of his obituary. I just sat there like a sack of potatoes with tissues and let his parents make decisions.

Everything about this is hard. And sometimes you have to curl up in a ball and cry. Allow yourself to grieve.

I was fortunate enough to have the funeral director walk me through the obituary. He did so much to help me those few days, I feel it was worth the expense. Since Don was on hospice, he came to the house and helped with what I wanted while Don laid in the bedroom in his hospital bed. We didnt realize that he would pass the next day. It was the same man who took care of my father and Don's parents. My mom passed 2 years later, never aware of my loss and again he was there.

Actually, it was my husband who urged me to call. Perhaps he knew.... Sharon

Our Son didn't even ask if he could write my husbands obit. He just went ahead and did it. He did ask how many newspapers would I like it in. I allowed him to do it because he seemed so passionate about it. He wanted to do it for his Dad. When I read the obit I was blown away !! It was absolutely perfect! He spoke of what a talented man his Father was and I just cried because my husband would have been so pleased and proud. One time I made the right decision to step back and allow someone else who loved him to have their moment.