Sorry for your loss. I have been on this journey since Feb 05 2017. I remember the free fall mode. I also miss my husband/best friend I do not know if that feeling really ever goes away. This is a good place to come and read or join in. It has helped me to know I am not going crazy and we all have different ways of grieving. Take Care
Kim

I'm sorry for your loss.

Other than this group, you may want to join the WIDOWS AND WIDOWERS OF FAITH Community Group if you want to discuss your faith.

In there, Gerald posted a great article which you may want to have a quick read.
https://www.dailystrength.org/group/widows-and-widowers-of-faith/discussion/the-tunnel-aka-grief

Welcome. I'm very sorry for your loss. Everyone here knows how you are feeling. They are a wonderful group of people. Wishing you strength and peace as you travel this journey. Dolores

Thank you, Dolores for your kind words, yes this is a journey. I’m doing better now. Bless you!

Glad you found us here. The grief journey is unlike anything you ever experienced. I was always in total control before my wife died, and then everything changed. Just hang in there, we all make it through and eventually most of us find our way through it day by day. Just realize that you can not control any of it, and whatever got you through the valleys and hard times before just wont work now. It gets far worse before it gets better, but eventually it does get better. Writing helped me more than anything. As long as we are nice to each other, pretty much no rules here. It is a good place to vent. Scott

I join the others in saying how sorry I am for your loss. I lost my husband a little over 3 years ago. This train ride is certainly a long one. Try to take care of yourself and above all feel your grief. Sounds dumb I know but my point is don't try to stuff it or avoid it. Grief has a way of getting us to do things that feel and seem so odd. Its ok. I too write here and in a personal journal. It helps to put my feelings in black and white. Everyone here is or has been where you are. We get it 100%. Hugs to you

Lisa

I am sorry for the pain you are going through. I am glad you have such a source of strength. You won't break any norms here. Talk about anything you want. We have all been through it and will give you our ears. Praying for you now.

I am so sorry for your loss. I wish I could tell you the pain will go away,, but I don't think it ever really goes away. The first year after I lost my husband I just felt very tired, but could not sleep well or at all at night, I moved slowly and my brain was just in a fog. The second year seemed much more painful then the first. I am a single parent as well and my our child was barely 8 years old when he passed. So I put all of my spare time into trying to help her be happy and move forward. Also I think the first year your body is trying to recover from the trauma and stress of the loss so it needs to rest to repair itself, but when the second year is hear it seems as if the fog is beginning to lift away and our brain works a bit better - which means you feel you remember, so it reminds you of the loss and the pain of them not being here. However, the 3rd year I began to feel less pain, and at times caught myself laughing again. I do believe we all grieve differently and in different ways. In my case with regard to my husbands death, it began to feel better after the 3rd year. At least that is when I and my child began to laugh out loud and didn't really realize it. I wish you well and will pray for your strength, healing and guidance to move past this time of loss. hugs.

I'm in the second year, and I just feel numb and empty. Also, I will add that in the first year you run on adrenaline, and in the following year that runs out.

I want to say thank you to everyone, the comments are very helpful. They are like road signs posted in a strange land, They are helping me understand where I am at. Even if sometimes I don’t know the language. Hugs to all of you!

I am so sorry for your loss, I wish there were words to give you comfort and stop the pain. It’s been 8yrs since I lost my husband and the pain and loss just changes it never goes away. Be kind to yourself this is rally hard.

So sorry..it's not easy..it's hard..at first I was busy with legal stuff...Then alone in my thoughts I kept wanting to think it's not true....It's one year for me and I still have bad times...You just try to get thru the day...I still wake up at night...I found ME TV channel and watch all the old tv shows...If you think you could try writing your feelings down..it could even be a letter to your wife...It's healthier for you not to keep your pain boxed up inside....Everyone I have encountered here has been encouraging.......I remind myself that with faith I will be with my husband again...God Bless

I have found that sharing my feelings here, with others, and in letters to my Brenda I can get some of the pain out and let the healing begin. The letters to my Brenda was the first thing I did just to be able to get my thoughts out of my head and give me some kind of peace. I found myself writing her many long letters in the wee hours those first few weeks. It was such a help to me. Then I found several places like this where I can share with and support others who are making the same journey. It really helps!