your not out "partying" or "celebrating" without Shane, and he would understand that..I'm sure he's want you to go see your girlfriend.

she's likely just trying to "help" get you out of the house..i only have one friend (and no family) around here and i dont get to see him often..he came by last weekend for the first time in a few months and drug me out bowling..it was fun...hadnt done it in years...I felt a twinge..because I knew when it was over, I couldnt go home and tell Melodie that i not only broke 100 (woohoo!) I actually beat him once!

its ok for us to go out with our friends..lean on them..let them be there for us..I wish i had a few more around me..Once i am done with work, I'm here at home alone...packing things/reading up here.. we all need to release that stress sometimes..

I hope you managed to have some time with your friend at least just talking even if thats just all you did for the night

You should go. Your friend sounds amazing. You aren't celebrating, you are living. Blow off some steam. I know I would love to. If it doesn't feel right after a little while, leave. I understand the guilt we feel when we continue living, but from what you've written about Shane he would really want you to go.

I did go... and it was actually fun at first. Then one of those annoying people you always ted to find no matter where you go started talking to me. At first it was fine... exchanging simple pleasantries with a stranger... Then it got repulsive. I can NOT believe some of the things people would say to others and think it was not offensive. We left... went back to my friend's and had coffee and played a couple hands of cards. I don't see myself doing that again in the near future.

Your friend sounds like a true caring friend and is doing whatever she can to help you through your pain. The reality of our life really sucks and we shouldn't have to go through what we go through . It is totally unfair . But we are the only ones with the power to make it somewhat bearable. Nothing will ever bring them back but one thing I know for sure is that Howie would not want slowly giving up on life. He actually ask me to keep my sense of humour because I would need it and I told him that I would do everything to be o.k. It is the hardest challenge of my life but it is doable. Baby steps . I traveled further by at first telling myself over and over that I owed it to him and to my children to do what I could to be o.k. Forcing myself to go out despite not wanting to. Then gradually, I started seeing that the best way to honour him was to realize that I owe myself the right to live a new life carrying him in my heart ,taking the challenges as they came .At first I told myself positive things ,then eventually I started feeling somewhat positive. Everyday when I get up, I look outside and tell myself that it is a new day, that my glass is half full and that I can chose to continue filling it or I can tip it over and empty it. Some days the glass does spill. It is a continued work in progress and I will forever miss him. It is not about if there will be love in my life again,rather it is about accepting who I am and what I can be. Your Shane would want you to keep living your life and be happy and I hope that eventually you can find some peace.

You guys may NOT like my response. If I don't feel like going out or doing something......I follow my gut and my instincts and neither family or friends can talk me out of my feelings.

I don't want to test my comfort zone, right now! I don't need to. I will do what feels right for me right now. I don't need to push or pull or stretch myself at all.

I think that Morey would want me to be comfortable within myself. If something is making me feel anxious, sad, afraid or in any way uncertain, I do what I want to do at that moment. If it means staying home and doing NOTHING, that's what I'll do.

I find, that for me, I'm moving forward best if I follow my gut and do everything organically. Sure, I have to go to work and sometimes step out of my comfort zone but that's by necessity and not by choice.

I believe that our friends and family need to respect our feelings right now and not PUSH us when we're feeling doubtful.

JMHO,
With Love,
Roz

I think if you are having doubts let your friend know that and tell her you won't go if she doesn't agree to take you home if you want to come home earlier. I know how it feels to back out all the time because you don't want to go and deal with the world. I have forced myself to go a few times and after getting there I was glad I went. I don't have many friends and I also felt as though I was out celebrating with out Mike but after some tears and a very upset stomach I felt ok the times I did go. I just made very clear to my friends that it was my decision when and If I go home and no questions. Let us know how it goes