So true kim.....good thoughts and best wishes to you.

That's beautiful. I mean honoring your anniversary like that. I tried to call my husband in the hospital ( I was restricted at that time from seeing him) on our anniversary last Nov. and he didn't answer. He was like a zombie at that time from all the drugs. This year I'll probably go to pieces on it. I wish we could be with our loves again, Kimberlina. I think if I'm correct your husband died same day as mine: Jan.30th? Peace to you...

Well put, never realized all the things my husband did till he wasn't here.
Blessings
jdp

Hugs Kim. You said it all for me.

I read that earlier, we didn't just lose one person...our spouse, but so much more. Blessings and ((hugs)) for your anniversary.

They really are so much more than just a spouse. Hugs to you for your anniversary. It was a really hard day for me on mine. And I chose to celebrate it too.

Yes it does get overwhelming for one person. Happy Anniversary. The first anniversary without my husband was made harder because no one wanted to wish me happy anniversary for fear of upsetting me. I finally told my mom that not saying it did not take away the fact that he was gone but instead took away the precious memory of our wedding day and the all the days and years that followed...

Thank you for all the anniversary wishes. I have 30 plus years of memories that do not just go away because my husband died. So yes handg I agree it is/was nice to hear from friends and family and the tears they think they are going to cause are healing. We can not bottle up emotions or we will burst like a shaken soda/pop. This place is a Godsend and I am happy to have this group to share with. Hugs back to you all.

I am going thru this too Kim...I lost my husband in April and our 37 th anniversary was June 28th and it was a day full of tears, I did get last years card from him out and I took one I had bought to the cemetery....Usually we would be going out for dinner. I need to be part of a group that understands and share support with. Family help but until your spouse dies you won't understand how it really is. I know I didn't till it happened to me....

Kim, I was married on my birthday, and it has been two years since Dennis passed suddenly in his sleep and I found him..I've shared this story on here before..
Dennis and I had worked out a code to happen on the first anniversary/birthday of either of us passing..I told him I wanted not only red roses, but also yellow if he went first, to prove there is an afterlife. He was a big skeptic of this. I told him it would have to come from one of out three daughters.. I had forgotten about it, until the morning of my first birthday/anniversary without him.
I was laying in bed and said OK sweetie, now's your chance.
I was fixing a sprinkler head I had wiped out with my lawn mower, down on my knees, when my youngest daughter pulled in the drive way and got out of her care with a dozen red and dozen yellow roses. I could hardly stand up and started to shake and cry..My daughter said gee, Mom there only roses. I said honey they are so much more, you don't know.
I told the about the code Dennis and I had worked out years before and she started to cry.
She said the strange thing is Mom, I was at Costco and walked by them on my way out saw them and thought Mom would like those. She said at first she put red and white in the basket and was standing in line to get checked, when she said she felt a hand on her shoulder and turned to look and then she saw the yellow roses. She got out of line and put the white back and got the yellow.
Kim, We've had so many signs from our skeptic, they have slowed down, but it seems when I most need them, Dennis gives me one. Just ask your husband for one.
Dennis was like your husband he could build and fix anything. What I miss most is just are morning coffee, talking about what we were going to do that day, the simple things. He was/is a good guy!!
Take care Kim, you've come to a good place for comfort and understanding, there are lots of wonderful people on here willing to share their grief journey...Peace and hugs..Gail

"Don't cry because it's over..smile because it happened"..Dr. Seuss

Kimberlina, I appreciate this post so much. My husband just died 2 weeks ago and I'm already realizing how lost I am without him, how much I don't how to do or forgot how to do.

Mysweetie2, you gave me chills. I want so much to believe my Dave is out there watching over me. A day or so after he died, I believe he pranked me 3 times. When his father died, Dave claimed his dad stole things as a joke and then returned them. One time we lost a tv remote and tore the living room apart looking for it. We finally gave up on it and found a work around. A few minutes later, I glanced down and the remote was lying on the couch right between us. Anyway, 3 times the day after Dave died things disappeared and then reappeared. It was obviously a bad day and I wasn't hitting on all cylinders, but it was still freaky, and I think it may have been him because he would know that I would understand what he was doing. I told my good friend and one of Dave's best friends, Jeff about it and he told me that he thinks Dave also did 3 things to him on the same day. He didn't 'vanish' anything because Jeff wouldn't have understood that. Instead he flushed a toilet and stole some whiskey. Jeff swears this happened and he thinks it was Dave. I've had no further incidents, but I sure would love it if he could occasionally give me sign, but wouldn't we all love that? I'm very glad you believe Dennis is still watching over you. I hope Dave is watching over me too. I talk to him every day. <3

Some solutions are easy with a little thought and patience, or investigation, others not so much. My husband really was a mechanic (or automotive technician, as he preferred to be called after 30+ years at the job). Now, my car needs a mechanic desperately, and I don't know where to turn. I can't afford to pay much for parts yet, and labor rates at a shop are totally beyond my ability. I can do oil and fluids, but not brakes or track down a fuel leak, or do injectors or spark plugs. I was always the exterminator in the family, so that's not an issue, but keeping my pets up to date on flea meds sure is. Furkids are making due with cheap flea collars at the moment, and I added some salt to my mop water. Salt kills fleas. I can deal with the heavy pet food bags, If I can't get then in the cart, or the car, I will ask for help at the store, but right now I have several bogo coupons for smaller bags of food that will get me through the next few months. My husband bought an inexpensive square rope-pull dolly at Harbor Freight when he was having chemo so he wouldn't have to lug trash cans by hand down the lane to the dumpster. I use it for the trash, and also for moving any heavy petfood bags from the car to the steps, then sort of "roll" them up the steps into the door, and "walk" them to their spot in the house. I had a man from church come and hook up my new washer we purchased just before DH died. He did it for free, bless him. Now though, my a/c seems to be rapidly dying. Not sure what to do about that just yet.... It's all an adjustment. The loneliness though really is the hardest part. Working helps, but I miss weekend breakfasts out with my husband, watching a new movie with someone who hopefully would like it or dislike it in similar fashion,, discussing my day, and his, and stuff about our kids and grandkids, help with certain minor household chores that have never been my favorites, like dishes or folding/hanging laundry, and just ordinarily daily conversation!! I don't really have anybody to just to talk to anymore. That's the hardest part of all. I can mow, but I haven't. Right now the landlord has been weedwhacking the yard. It's small and looks a sight, but I'm not ready to tackle it myself yet. It would be even easier if I could get my electric mower out of storage. Haven't been able to much of anything with the storage, especially this time of year in the heat, and with now working nearly full time again for the first time in ages. I need to do something there but darned if I know whanowI don't know that I can handle it alone. Pretty sure I can't. We can only do what we can do. And if we can't find ready help, or can't. afford to pay for it, then what we can do may be limited. That's just one more adjustment.

I wish that we could reply to each reply. Gail I love your story of the roses. I wish my husband and I had talked about a code. I do have waves of a certain floral scent that lifts my way and it is usually during the stressful times,almost like he is telling me it o all going to be Ok. My new mantra is "I am sad that he is gone and thankful for the love and time we had. "
Cavewifelost your grief is fresh. Dave pranking you is such a blessing and hope you get many more signs that he is watching over you. Take care of yourself and ask for help when needed.
Dottk I go to YouTube and google have helped me with more help than I thought possible. I remember everyone telling me to ask for help. I finally got enough courage to ask one of my neighbors how to string my weed eater. He had no clue I went home and broke down crying thinking to myself how am I going to survive this I prayed. I then remembered I am the Google Queen or so my daughter says. As for the things I can not do I have to prioritize by need and financial means. I totally agree that the loneliness is the toughest. Weekends were our time to spend together.