Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
It was all so simple when my husband was alive. If something happened to me, he would step in and make decisions. Now, I don't have that option, so the responsibility legally falls to my father.
I'll tell anyone who is widowed, make the decision as to who steps in if something happens to you. According to what I read, even a cousin could be considered next of kin if no one else is available. Imagine a long lost cousin showing up and making decisions.
So, after what happened to me last week(I got sick at work and ended up in ER), I decided to make a decision. I'm making my step-daughter my legal next of kin. She'll be my emergency contact with full rights to make decisions if I can't. She's consented to do this. So I'll call a lawyer and make sure everything is good to go.
I made this decision after my job called my father after I had been taken to ER. They thought I'd had a stroke or heart attack at the time. Yet he spoke to my boss(not immediate) and told her I'd probably was okay and just had become stressed out. He then began to tell her what a horrible daughter I was. Imagine that. Your daughter is lying in the hospital and you're literally kicking her while she's down.
He did call the hospital, but made no plans to come out. In fairness he offered to have me come to his place and driving to the hospital would have been a bad idea with his eyesight and sense of direction. It's the conversation with my boss that bothers me. And I wondered why everyone was looking at me with pity and had suddenly become cold towards him at work.
So, I'm making sure I'm never, ever in this position again. I'll rest easier because of this decision.
Tru
I'll tell anyone who is widowed, make the decision as to who steps in if something happens to you. According to what I read, even a cousin could be considered next of kin if no one else is available. Imagine a long lost cousin showing up and making decisions.
So, after what happened to me last week(I got sick at work and ended up in ER), I decided to make a decision. I'm making my step-daughter my legal next of kin. She'll be my emergency contact with full rights to make decisions if I can't. She's consented to do this. So I'll call a lawyer and make sure everything is good to go.
I made this decision after my job called my father after I had been taken to ER. They thought I'd had a stroke or heart attack at the time. Yet he spoke to my boss(not immediate) and told her I'd probably was okay and just had become stressed out. He then began to tell her what a horrible daughter I was. Imagine that. Your daughter is lying in the hospital and you're literally kicking her while she's down.
He did call the hospital, but made no plans to come out. In fairness he offered to have me come to his place and driving to the hospital would have been a bad idea with his eyesight and sense of direction. It's the conversation with my boss that bothers me. And I wondered why everyone was looking at me with pity and had suddenly become cold towards him at work.
So, I'm making sure I'm never, ever in this position again. I'll rest easier because of this decision.
Tru
My uncle has made my mother his and she has his medical decisions permit also. He did this because his wife is in a nursing home with Alzheimer's and he knew that the children would end up disagreeing in a time of need. So, he choose Mom (his sister) because he knows she would listen to the doctors and then discuss it with the children before making a decision in his best interest.
Within a month or 2 (don't remember now) after Joe died, I went to my lawyer and had my Will, Power of Attorney, and Advance Directive for Health Care drawn up. Since I have 3 children, I chose one to be in charge of each of these documents and one to be 2nd on each. I gave them a copy of the one that they are the primary name and a copy of the one that they are 2nd name on. They all agreed with how I had chosen each document for each of them. I had certain reasons for each and told them. It made me feel better to know that everything was taken care of and they would know what I wanted.
So, I can see why this will make you rest easier; I did.
Hugs, Joely