I am sorry for your loss. It does get easier. You learn how to live with it. He is still with you in spirit. Watch for signs. My lamp in living room turns on by itself when I miss him the most. Your husband would want you to live your best life. ((Gentle Hugs))

I am so very sorry for your loss. To answer your question, yes it does get better. It’s been a little over six years since I lost my husband. Coming to this site helped me tremendously. Just knowing others survived this loss gave me strength that I could as well. One day at a time, that’s all I could handle for a long time. Slowly, very slowly I could look ahead a week. At first I too, thought that dying would be a better idea so I could see him. In fact, I felt that way for months. People try grief counseling, bereavement groups or other ways to get through. Whatever works for you is best. You can look at Griefshare and Soaring Spirits, both good organizations for widows/widowers. Keep coming to this site and post or read old posts to see how we all coped. I wish for peace for you.

What you feel is normal. A support group will be a great comfort to you. People say it gets easier. The pain is always there, but there is hope for the pain to change and not have the same impact as it did in the early days. And early days are not months, but years. Just know you are not alone; many feel just as you do. It's one day at a time. Make sure you engage in self care, Exercise, eat properly, try to sleep (so hard for so many). Be very gentle with yourself. Sometimes you just have to claw your way out of this black hole to find your new path. You can get through this, even when you feel like you can't. Post here anytime.

You have suffered a devastating loss but graciously will receive heart-felt, caring guidance on this site from the most credible sources available, those who have actually suffered the same loss. Valuable suggestions and encouragement are already being provided by some from their personal experience: It will get better; he is still with you; one day at a time; exercise and self-care; group counseling.

I would like to add an additional perspective to your recovery based on my experience. It's only been two weeks for you. By then, I was still in a state of shock, disbelief, fear, and loss. You probably are also. Don't hold yourself to any "rational" norms of behavior. Allow yourself to fall apart, if needed. There will be plenty of time to regain composure. Non-stop tears, anger, shouting, and even thoughts of self-harm are all normal. The absence of these raw emotions would be abnormal. During the next few weeks and months don't judge yourself or let yourself be judged. The time will come when you begin to feel alive again. I am so sorry that the path to get there is inevitably painful and punishingly slow.

I lost mine 8/2020. To tell you the truth I'm worse now maybe because it's the holidays. I'm extremely obsessive and have poor coping skills.

I do have a good therapist who has been my lifeline. My best advice is to take everything as it comes at you, meaning the good and the bad. If you want to sleep then sleep. Large moments of whatever will confront you and i just cried alot.

I think in the past few weeks, I'm crying more for whatever reasons. I obsess alot over small things but i try to focus on the now and be mindful of what is in front of me.

Becoming spiritual might help too. You can feel their spirit around you especially in the beginning. There are signs to watch out for but when you're really sad it might block out you seeing them.

I told my therapist I don't wish this experience on anyone yet it happens every day to others. All i see is others living their lives with partners besides them. It's not fair but how are we immune to loss?

We are just like everyone else. I happen to have underlying mental health issues that were buffered by having my husband with me. Now it's all coming up and it feels like some kind of purging and nightmare.

I wish i could sugar coat things for you but it's real suffering to have to go on without your beloved life partner. It's cruel yet a huge part of life as a result of signing up for marriage.

Thank you all for sharing your stories. I pray every day that God will let me come home to be with my husband. This is so very painful.

Kim2509, my heart goes out to you as it does to others who are experiencing the loss of a spouse. I have no words of wisdom except to tell you that things will get better. You will learn to live a different life even though it is one that you have not chosen. You are in the very early stages of grief and loss, and it is going to take time, lots and lots of time, for you to begin to feel like you can cope with your loss. Best advice I can give is to find a support group so that you will find others who understand your pain. In addition to a support group, find a grief therapist. I can't say enough how much the therapist I found has helped me through some really dark times and one who has stuck with me even though my husband passed away several years ago. Hugs to you.

Thank you Roxanne809. I appreciate your kind words and encouragement.

I too am sorry for your loss. The depth of despair that comes from a loss like this is mind and body numbing. I feel for you and I truly hope you have people around you that can help ease some of your grief. Having someone to talk to who you can cry with, who knows you and knew your husband helps you come up for air, even if for only a few moments. I lost my soulmate and the man that brought such joy to my life on 10-22-2021. My love was only 56 years old and we were together for 34 1/2 years. The shock has worn off and now the grief is debilitating. Reading the stories of others like us on this site has also helped me.

I lost my wonderful and loving soulmate and husband Gary of 33 years October 18, 2016 to a heart attack. He was only 56 years old. I found him in the early morning, I tried to save him and the firefighters and paramedics tried to save him. He was taken to the hospital but did not survive. He was put on life support as his last request was to be a organ donor. He gave his lungs to a double lung transplant patient. His final gift of life. I didn't say good bye but I did say "I will see you later". I miss him every single day. He was the love of my life. He had the most beautiful blue eyes. He was handsome, and I loved his laugh and smile and the way he hugged me I wish I could feel that again I miss that so much. I know one day when it is my time I will join him as he always told me he would wait for me. He has never broken a promise.

The reason I am writing this is I see there are a lot of stories and new members to this site that no one wants to join but I am glad I joined. I have met a lot of wonderful people and have kept in contact with them since the day I joined. But it has been a tough journey and for all the new members I would like to say a few things and share with you so you too can get through this and try to make a new normal in their lives. I am going to be blunt but it is the truth and everyone here that has been through it for as long as I have will know and agree. So if you would like to read on please do so and I do promise you that everything I say does happen.

At first you will hurt like crazy and you will be in a fog for a long time. My advice is just let yourself go through this fog. You will not want to do anything but lay in bed. At first I just wanted to curl up and I didn’t care if I died as well. I don’t believe in taking my life but I thought if I went to sleep and never woke up I would be okay with that but it never happened. At first yes do what you need to but please always remember to eat and drink plenty of fluids. Even if it is toast at least it is food. Some might have family to be there for them but for me I didn’t have family they didn’t want to. You have to keep going and don’t stop. This fog will last for a long time and you must always remember that there is no set time to grieve. If people say you have to get over it and move on well don’t listen to them. Grieving will last forever. I still grieve for Gary. How to say it without hurting anyone is I promise you that in time you will be able to think of your loved one without breaking down. I still break down on special occasions or holidays but it was better than when I first lost him. I can now think of him and smile and remember sometimes with tears.

You will want to sell everything well my biggest advice is don’t do anything for a year and don’t make any BIG decisions until later on. You will thank me. I know I wanted to sell the house and the car but someone told me don’t do anything until at least a year and I am glad I did. I would have regretted selling the house and car. I today still in the house and the car. You have to give yourself time. Grieving is and will be with you and you have to get through this first.

I talk to Gary all the time, and sometimes I put on music and clean, I cry and it feels better after I am done. Don’t be afraid to cry and scream and talk. I did that for a long time and it does help. You need to do what you need to do to get yourself through this horrible journey. I remember someone telling me it will get better and I didn’t want to hear that as I never believed that but things do change and things will get better. That I promise. But it takes strength and courage and in time you will come through the fog.

Another thing I did as well and I know some people think it won’t work but it does help is get some grief counseling. It took at least 6 months for me to decide to go. It took a best friend to yell at me to get me out of the black hole I was falling into. I saw a wonderful grief counselor and she helped me through this and made me see that there is another side to this journey. Then after I went to group therapy and met others that are going through the same thing as I was. It made me realize that I was not the only one in the world going through this. Yes it brought up a lot of emotions and yes I cried and yelled and I got things out that I thought were not even bothering me. Those were the best months and I am glad I got the nerve to go.

I also met a lot of good friend here on this site and we have got through this together and we talked and gave each other advice. This is a wonderful site to be on and help out with what you are feeling. I have been through a lot on this site from meeting wonderful friends to scammers that took my money. You also have to be careful on who you give your information to. Real true grieving people will not ask you for any emails outside this site. I learned the hard way as they say things that make you feel better and feel good about yourself. They are nothing and they will take you for everything. If they ask for an email outside this site don’t do it until you know they are real people and not scammers. Real grieving people will talk on this site and nothing more. Take caution as they come in all sizes. If they say they are in the army and can’t go on this sight all the time. They also say they work in dangerous areas of the world well if it is so dangerous why are they on the site to begin with. I was in a fog and they said all the right things. I know better now that I think of it going back. Keep within the website and stay on the site when communicating with other.

What I want to say is it does get better I do promise that. It may not seem like it at the beginning. You go through fog and it feels like there is no end but there is light on the other side. You will know when you get through it and when you do you will start a new journey. A journey that you will have to find and it is called a new normal. It will never be the same as you had when you lost your loved one but it will be a new normal just for you. You need to help yourself and you have to take one step at a time and one foot in front of the other and you have to keep going. Don’t stop. This is a long journey and one I am still taking. The most important thing is to get counseling. YOU HAVE TO. I fell into a black hole and I knew I was and I didn’t care. I am glad now I did.

It has been a long 5 years and I am still finding a new normal and I always will. But I kept on getting up in the morning and I kept taking baby steps. I did this for me and our daughter. Things will get better and now I have met another widow through a widows group. We used to meet up a couple times a month. He lost his wife to brain cancer. We take it one day at a time and when we have a bad day we can help each other out. Things do get better and I got help to get through this new journey. I helped me, and it was hard but I did it.

I hope this helps and if you have any questions or just want to talk message me and I will respond. Stay strong and remember cry when you want , ride those waves and let your emotions out don’t hold them inside. Scream it is your place and I am sure my neighbors thought I was crazy but it helped. Most importantly get counseling and eat even if it is small. Have faith and stay strong you will get through this. If you want to read my stories please do as I even read them to see how I have grown and how I got through this.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

I lost my wife In February. I can’t say it gets easier yet. Staying busy is the best remedy I have found. It’s really painful when everything slows down. I know people say that your spouse is your best friend, but it is cliche. A spouse should be much more than that. We were together for 15 great years, despite her decline.
At first, everyone is helpful and supportive. After awhile, people get back to their lives and it gets harder to navigate.

I hope you are surviving the holiday season. I know how difficult all the "firsts" can be. Sometimes we need the company of others, other times we need to sit in solitude and process what has happened to us. Just know you are not alone in your grief and you have support here. Some days will feel like you took 3 giant steps back. But there will be times in your future where you feel like you are making some forward progress. One step at a time.

Sorry for your loss and heartache, I know it well but it does get easier, one day at a time. At first I tried pushing the memories away as they were painful but that did not help me. I cherish them now and reflect on my wonderful life with my husband John. I cried a lot, was sad, wanted to join him but then I realized my husband would not want me to live like that. So pushed myself each day to fine one thing enjoyable, birds at my feeder, someone saying a kind word to me, walking around the block, people saying hi, any small gesture would cling to it. It takes time, but you can do it. Be kind to yourself, if you feel like crying then cry and don't let Anyone say to you, oh just get over it already. They don't know your pain, you owe nothing to anyone at this point except to yourself. This path is a difficult one but we are on it, must walk it and one day you will smile again. Take care and will pray for you, Jan.

Thank you Jan for your kind words and prayers. I am sorry for your loss too. There are so many of us that carry this burden. I never realized until my loss. I will pray for you too. Thank you again. Kim

You are not alone we are here for you.i love it on here.