Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
Hello Everybody,
My name is Kathy and I lost my husband last year on 3/25/2015 from a two year battle with cancer.
I am having such a difficult time of it and feel so alone that I can't stand it. We were high school sweethearts and I accidentally got pregnant in my junior year. We had our daughter and a week after I turned 18, we went to the courthouse and got married in 1976.
No one thought our marriage would last (sometimes even us, lol) but it not only latest, it flourished and grew. By the time we were 20 we had two children and a small home of our own.
My dear hubby was a romantic. He was always hugging me, just a brushing touch, it seemed like we just had to touch each other to see if it was real.
Of course we suffered hard times, mostly financial, in-laws, etc. the same thing most couples fight about. But it always brought us closer.
After our kids were married and out of the house we were blessed to go see Montana, Cape Cod, Nantucket Island, Alaska and our last trip was to the Bahames.
He was diagnosed on February 26, 2013. I took a leave from work and was with him all the time for the next two years He did remarkable well until the last month
I was laying with him in his hospital bed here at home when he took his last breath I layer with him all night knowing the end was near He was 57 years old
To me, he is the best man ever he was very handsome, stong, capable, but if you got to his heart, it was all marshmallow
I reallu dont don't know how to live it's been 16 months and I am just existing..it's the only way to put it. For the almost 40 years we were married, we ate dinner together and always went to bed together. We would snuggle for a few minutes but all through the night we had to be touching in some way. Many times we sleeped back to back but would hold hands.
Both of of my children and their families live far away I have never felt so alone and helpless Depressed most certainly I am 57 now and I don't believe I will ever feel passion or caring for another man I'm not even talking about sex really. Just human touch. I ache for my hubbies touch, his hits and kisses
When does this ever get easier? Does it at all? My doctor thinks at this point I should see a therapist and I may. I did think if I could find a forum with fair traffic with people like me, it might help
If you gotten this far, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I am sorry for all that must be here Love & Hugs
Kathy
My wife and I were together for almost 40 years, the last 7 of it she battled cancer. I've been living this life without her for the last 2 1/2 years. The loneliness was hard. The isolation and depression just made it more difficult. I encourage you to give therapy a try. If the first counsellor you see isn't a good fit then try another. It's worth the effort. I found one I could really talk too, one that challenged and equipped me and I'm a poster child for all the good that can come from it. The isolation is tough but you can overcome that too. Therapy really helped me with that. Volunteering, making new friends, finding things and people that motivate you again is possible and therapeutic. You can discover who you are and find fulfillment, happiness and even joy again. I did and you can too. I wish I could tell you that it was simple and easy but it can be hard work at times. The benefits though make it all worthwhile. You've found a great group of folks here, good people that know where you've been and where you must go and that is forward. Come here when you need help and when you feel the need to help others. Good days and the not so good, we're all here in the same boat with you.
Peace and ((hugs))
~John