Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Death & Dying
/ Widows & Widowers Support Group

Nees to Vent

porkchopcash
porkchopcash

It's been a hard couple of weeks.  Our baby had her 10th birthday And I really felt his absence.  None of his usual antics.  I held it together that day but the next day it hit hard and I  just broke down.  It was kind of scary cuz I can normally keep myself composed in front of people.  


Couple of days later I get papers from Social Security and In the papers it said marriage ended on the day of his death?!?!?!?


I know we say till death do us part but I really thought that we would always be married.  I still consider myself his wife...he's just not here anymore.  What does it mean that they just end our marriage?  I know that it's just paper but I don't like it!  Once his wife, always his wife and I want it in documentation. I don't like that they have taken that away.  Why do they do that?  I'm not single- I'm a widow.  That means something so different.  I'm still working on my happily ever after with him,  just in an intermission for the now.

Sophia2002
Sophia2002
Oh I 100% agree. Reading that was the WORST I cried, but I was also so angry. Who are they to say my marriage is over. It's the most insensitive thing to have shoved in front of you. It's not like we don't know, but to have it in writing and forced to read it because you have to sign it is horrible. Thank you!!! I felt the EXACT same as you. I wear his and my wedding ring on my ring finger. He can't wear it so I wear it for us. Because to me I'm still married. Hugs to you. I'm sorry you had to read that.
Rays_Light
Rays_Light
I am so sorry, I don't know why they would do that. I know your pain tho, when my husband passed, all of his online medical portals ceased to exist. I had been making payments for his many medical bills and the day after he passed everything was gone. I Couldn't pay a bill or look at any records. It was like he never existed. I was so mad. I eventually filled out releases and made them all send me copies of his records because he did exist.
Community Leadercliffskat
cliffskat
It hit me when I had to change all the beneficiaries on everything, and my pension stuff only allowed "single." That made me angry, even though I known it has to do with the legal requirements, it's not personal. The only place that seemed to allow any other status was at my OB-GYN's office; at least they were smart enough to have a "widow" box to tick, but even that was hard.

As far as Social Security and the IRS, you still have rights as their spouse, and your kids do, too, as his survivor. That doesn't change.

Love and Hugs,
Martha