For me weekends are the hardest because for most people it means family time, together time. It also meant that in my previous life. Now, my children have left home, my husband has passed away and my remaining friends have their own family, together time. I understand it. My youngest daughter does come from time to time and I go to visit her also but it is a long trip for both of us and I also understand that she has to have some time alone with her husband.

So I have to provide my own entertainment, either going to the movies or to the theatre or see an exhibition. I go alone of course, but luckily I never feared my own company.

This weekend business is very difficult but we have to cope as best we can. I do not spend the weekend crying any longer, the weekend alone are somewhat a littler sadder than ordinary week days.

Hugs to you dl.

I have realized early on, that unless I make efforts to have things changed, nobody will do it for me.
Grownup children have their own life, and they are not a solution from our loneliness. I have one son, he is single, he has his own very active life style, I would have felt clingy, if I expected his company every weekend.
Besides, even in the best of circumstances, they are young and prefer their own age company.
Becoming a widow also means becoming a single person. I did not like it, but I could not fight the reality of it. So it is mind set change, starting with they way we feel doing things alone; daily basics such as grocery shopping, cooking, gardening, home projects, etc. I simplified many things which used to be elaborate, and involving, such as cooking, but I stil do that, and it takes some of my time. I am gardening, which is relaxing, and doesn't require company. Thus those small daily chores absorbe a good chunk of my free time. Also, i like gym, I am friquent there, sometimes they have classes on weekend and I try to attend them on Saturday.
Still during weekends, i am experiencing some urge to get out and do something, and it is a challenge to find a company to do something. Most of my friends atill have children at home, or a partner, or a large family, only a few are trully single. With those few, I plan in advance to get out and do something. But if they are busy, I am going out in my own company
I wish Papagena were in my city, looks like you have similar interests: movies, theater, galleries, would be nice to have a company of an active cultures person, who is in the same boat.

It takes time to figure things out, and getting used to new, albeit unwelcome, but changed life. It is up to us to make it work somehow.
Warm hug

Such a shame you live thousands of miles away comfortablynumb because I certainly would appreciate company when I go for my 'culture vulturing' ventures! Fortunately for me, I am not shy about booking events, anyway in our marriage, I was the 'booker in chief' of all cultural events.

As we said, new life for us even if we did not choose it.

The weekends are always hard, but this weekend seems to underline how things have changed even more. The grandchildren finished school for the summer and my wife and I would have picked a couple of them up to spend a few extra days at the start of summer vacation. This will be the first summer without my wife. Summer was always the time to share with the grandchildren, camping, day trips and so on.

This weekend I am alone completely, with my extended family away to visit their family, I can't even go visit them for a few hours.

Have you looked for groups in your area? I have a 14 yr old daughter at home, so I still have a "family?". Becoming single is an adjustment. Being alone, another one. I hope you can find friends to do things with in the weekends. There are so many people in the world. If you have Facebook, maybe you could look through your contacts and see some people you have not thought about inviting out. Wish you the best.

[[[HUGS dl1959]]]

That is very kind & gracious of you to be so considerate of your step daughter ...

Basically, I was contradictory w/everything back in the days of grieving~
I wanted to be alone w/Bob & w/myself ~
I resented my kids having to go to a cemetery to visit their Dad ~
I wanted to take the full burden of grief on myself w/out anyone else having to suffer ~
I would fume inside whenever the kids asked to go w/me to the cemetery, at the same time I wanted Bob's parents to visit him ~
They did only once 4 months later & all that reptile of a MIL could talk about was the fun street faire they attended afterward ~
My 2 youngest were 11 & 13 at the time of Bob's death; it was hell trying to cope w/their grief & eventually their numerous suicide attempts ~
If I wasn't monitoring their meds or checking the rafters for a noose or counting knives & razor blades (DD was a cutter), etc, I was pacing around constantly worried they'd complete suicide outside the home or I simply wouldn't catch the attempt in time ~
Till a month after the last day of the homicide trial for the guy that killed Bob, I lived in complete rage ~
Once a month in court or sporatically in public places I'd immediately dissociate or black out whenever I saw him; that is what saved me from attacking him ~
It kept me at bay as well as anger management while I learned how to free myself from the emotional attachment; to become indifferent not forgiving of a heinous crime ~
Now that my grief is resolved & my kids are healthy, we celebrate Bob's anniversary as a B-day of becoming a spirit ~
We actually celebrate (loudly!) ~ *wink*
And I enjoy my weekends alone w/out the ruckus of the people above the stairs ~
I am probably one of the very few parents who had to monitor the isolation habits of their children: I still have a tendency to be concerned about it enough to bribe them to go out socializing ~
The other side of the coin isn't any better ~

Hope the B-day gathering goes nicely!

My daughter, that has been so offish to me for a long time, came last night in tears. She got upset with her teenager, and come running to mom. She has never done that before. Never....We sat and talked, about things, but I was there for her. Even though she's never been there for me. You know, it was nice, and I think she understands that I raised 3 children, and didn't break. She's just at the beginning of having a teenager. I told her that, and that it gets worse, right now she still has some control.

She also cried about the fact that her x-fiance, just died at 46. I told her I was glad she didn't marry him. She would have been a widow today. Then told her I was her age when her dad was diagnosed with cancer. It was like, she is seeing people close that are dying. We all die.