Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
Hello out there!
I have been reading the different posts and other than the obvious fact that we all share the trauma of losing our soul mates is the sadness we all feel and the tears we shed. Time of loss is irrelevant, pain is pain, aching is aching. I live in Canada and a very popular politician died 4 months before my hubby. His name was Jack Layton. My love saw the funeral on television, the widow standing so strong and stoc and he told me, "I want you to be like her but I also want you to be happy". How on earth can I be happy without him I wanted to shout???!!! But he made me promise. Later on, Jack Layton's widow said that what had helped her was swimming (nobody sees your tears in the pool) and laughter. When my love passed, after a few weeks (make that more like 3 months!) I thought of her and tried (I love swimming so it wasn't an issue). I couldn't swim and cry because I would swallow so much water! So I kept my swimming to what I could bear being in public without breaking down - about 10 minutes - no kidding. Then I would go home and switch on the TV on to America's Funniest Video and cry and semi- laugh at the stupidity of others. And when I was super super low, I would look at the video a friend had sent me. "Guys", it's worth it. Go to YouTube and look up "Love boat funny boating accidents" - sorry I don't know how to link it to this post....You will smile a tad through your tears. And even if it is just a half smile, it is a step back into the world of the living - where we must be for now. Sending out there to all a virtual hug, Driftersoul
I have been reading the different posts and other than the obvious fact that we all share the trauma of losing our soul mates is the sadness we all feel and the tears we shed. Time of loss is irrelevant, pain is pain, aching is aching. I live in Canada and a very popular politician died 4 months before my hubby. His name was Jack Layton. My love saw the funeral on television, the widow standing so strong and stoc and he told me, "I want you to be like her but I also want you to be happy". How on earth can I be happy without him I wanted to shout???!!! But he made me promise. Later on, Jack Layton's widow said that what had helped her was swimming (nobody sees your tears in the pool) and laughter. When my love passed, after a few weeks (make that more like 3 months!) I thought of her and tried (I love swimming so it wasn't an issue). I couldn't swim and cry because I would swallow so much water! So I kept my swimming to what I could bear being in public without breaking down - about 10 minutes - no kidding. Then I would go home and switch on the TV on to America's Funniest Video and cry and semi- laugh at the stupidity of others. And when I was super super low, I would look at the video a friend had sent me. "Guys", it's worth it. Go to YouTube and look up "Love boat funny boating accidents" - sorry I don't know how to link it to this post....You will smile a tad through your tears. And even if it is just a half smile, it is a step back into the world of the living - where we must be for now. Sending out there to all a virtual hug, Driftersoul
In the early months, I watched as much goofy stuff as I could. I rekindled a love for The Marx Brothers and the Three Stooges, Bugs Bunny cartoons, and very silly movies. I did not watch any broadcast tv for a long time - only DVDs. My news I read online when I was up for it - no horrific new stories - I couldn't handle them. Everything on tv just seemed to be violence and terrible loss, so I took control of what I exposed myself and my children to. What we didn't already have in our DVD collection, we found at the public library for free. I introduced them to old tv shows made before they were born - like the original Star Trek and Gunsmoke, and even found some very old stuff like Jack Benny which was also silly stuff.
I laughed whenever I could. I knew we wouldn't survive without it. It's almost like you forget how when you cry so much all the time. And I wanted my sons to be able to laugh and to know it was still okay to laugh.
Hope you have a good laugh today and don't need to cry in the pool today!
Love and Hugs,
Martha
And on those days when I just can't deal I binge watch some series like Midsomer Murders or Luther. Crime dramas are my way of taking my mind off things.
I would watch it over and over again....... Laughter really does help.
Pam
I received his autopsy report today and yes found something funny about it. It said the body seemed older than the 47 years old as stated. And yes it was funny to me, people always guessed him older than me and im 57.
http://www.tickld.com/x/20-jokes-so-terrible-theyre-actually-funny-14-is-gold