Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
Hi everyone, I'm new here. I joined a couple of weeks ago and I have read many stories. It is awful what we are are all going through. It's the worst feeling losing a spouse.
I lost my husband on June 16, 2017. A day I will never forget. He was on his way to work and was in a single car accident. His car veered off the road and struck a tree. I was told he was killed instantly. He was 55 years old. Too young in my eyes. I can't believe that God planned his last day or his last moments to end like that. Although I got to tell him I loved him 30 minutes prior to the accident it wasn't enough. I continue to replay what may have happened, what he may have experienced, etc. I cry alot because there are so many unanswered questions.
An autopsy was performed and I am still waiting for the results. I want to know what happened but at the same time, I am scared to know - if that makes sense.
At times I am scared of what the future holds. I am 45 years old. Although he has a son from a previous marriage we did not have any children of our own. For the moment I have moved in with my parents as I am uncomfortable with the idea of staying in our house. I will have to find a job at the first of the year which scares me because it has been about 5 years since I worked. We moved to a small town so I could take care of my parents so I don't have any support other than them (but they think I should carry on as normal) Which makes this more difficult to handle.
I just wanted to put some of my thoughts down to perhaps help myself. I am miserable and like many of you say nobody understands or gets what we are going through. Even though I don't go to church, I just cant imagine that God would want this situation for me. I pray for understanding but I get upset because none of this seems fair. I may not have had the best marriage but I had the best husband for me. I feel like I am being punished for something I did or said. I just don't understand. I do pray that we all get through this. Thank you for allowing me to share my thoughts.
My husband was killed on April 4 of this year. He was on his way home. I spoke to him 6 minutes before I received a call from a stranger. He had been in an accident. He also veered off the road and hit a pole and then a parked semi truck. It's been five months and still no autopsy report. The doctors say they think he suffered a heart attack that rendered him unable to control the truck, but it is not official. It is almost unbearable not knowing for sure. I may never know and that eats at me everyday.
I do know how you feel. People will say it gets easier. It doesn't, you just learn to go through the motions of everyday life. I have become the great pretender. I wish I had some insightful advice. People on this website are here to help. We need to let them.
Big hug. Reach out to me anytime.
Lisa
Dlacosta, I was told the same thing by the highway patrol officer that it may have been a heart attack or some kind of medical emergency. They said there were no signs of braking or skidding. All this just opens up other questions in my head about his health. As far as I knew his health was fine. Then I start to wonder did he just fall asleep? They also said he wasn't speeding that he was probably going 55-60 mph (the speed limit was 55). I have been by where it happened and it is not to far off the road so I just keep wondering what happened? If he dozed off surely beering off the pavement would have jolted him to do something...like turn the car, brake,etc. From what I understand the car just went towards the tree. I try to look for answers on the internet if anyone had anything similar happen to them and really have found nothing. I don't think or believe he did it on purpose. But I just wished I knew. I'm glad in some ways our story is similar, that helps me.
Thanks again dlacosta and Lisa. Hugs, Amy
MyStory - my sig/other died the same day your husband did. It feels like yesterday, not any better, actually worse as time goes on........still in the "shock" stage.