Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Missmyanne 07/21/2017

I didn't wear my wedding ring on a daily basis. Mostly for safety reasons pertaining to my job. Also because I'm not a jewelry wearing guy. I would wear it when we went out to dinner or on vacations or to family affairs. She loved when I did wear it. When my Anne past on July 13 2016 I vowed I'd wear it for a year. Not in memory but in honor of her. Well that year has past. I took the ring off July 14 of this year and put it with her 2 rings. So it's been a week and you know what? I feel naked without it. But I refuse to put it back on. Reason being I know somehow I have to move on. This to me anyway feels like step 1. I don't have a clue as to what step 2 is yet.

myhusbandisanangel 07/21/2017

That is why you have to take it one step at a time. Your heart will guide you. Hugs.

luckydaughter 07/22/2017

I agree that with myhusbandisangel that your heart will guide you. I always wore my wedding band on my left hand. About six months into widowhood, I moved it to the ring finger of my right hand. It feels like the right place for it to be and I will probably wear it there for the rest of my life, unless the time ever comes that I give my heart to another man. I can't see THAT ever happening but if it does, I will put the ring away.

I think each of us has to do whatever feels right for us.

karenj 07/22/2017

I agree with myhusbandisanangel and luckydaughter. I think you should follow your heart. It will always be right, and it will always guide you.

kindredspirit 07/23/2017

I immediately bought a chain and put my wedding ring and my wife's ring on it. I wear it around my neck every time I leave the house. I have plenty of reminders of her around the house, but I wanted a constant reminder of her when I was out. The rings serve that purpose for me. I will never stop wearing them, since I have decided not to date again. You have to decide what purpose your ring serves for you. Whether you wear it always or for a certain amount of time is up to you. Do what your heart tells you to. Only we know how to best handle our own grief.

Anne8 07/25/2017

Like you, I didn't always wear my wedding ring. I had actually stopped wearing it altogether one day after it had flown off my finger onto the street in front of the bus I was trying to get on. After his accident, I started wearing it on a chain (I would have worn it with his together after he passed on, but the hospital 'lost' his ring.)
I had decided I'd wear it until I forgot to put on the chain, which was about 6 months later. Now it hangs near me, on my side of the bed.

Cavewifelost 08/31/2017

I'm still wearing mine. I just can't bear to take them off yet. It's just too soon. I find myself looking at them a lot and I've even taken my engagement ring off briefly and tried it on my right hand. I'll have to get it sized up a little. Just not yet. I know that I will take them off though, because I can't move on and grow while I wear them. They are a symbol of my old life and that life is gone forever. Dave lives inside my heart, and some of his ashes are in a pendant around my neck. He is with me always, inside and out. The rings won't bring him back or keep him with me but, oh, how much I've cherished them and how proudly I've worn them for all these years! Just one more way that death rubs death in. It's heartbreaking.

MJP3071 09/01/2017

Don't feel bad. I am still wearing my wedding ring. I've worn it for 22 years, I figure why take it off. It doesn't bother me and I like it.

Kimberlina 09/01/2017

I wore my husbands wedding ring with my own holding it on. We both had wedding bands and on our 25th anniversary I got a upgrade. See I asked him to marry me so no engagement ring. Laying in bed couple of weeks ago it came to me to have the rings melted down and have a single ring made. Jeweler is in the process of designing now with a few pictures of rings that I would like. As soon as the ring is completed I will still wear on my left hand until I feel the need to move over to the right. We were married for just under 30 years I still feel married just alone.

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